Stuck in the Scheisse
I once met a german girl who was backpackining around Australia, and we spent a couple of weeks sightseeing and screwing in the southwest.
About a year later I was travelling though Germany on my way to Denmark, and decided to look her up in the town in the hills outside Cologne where she lived.
It's hard to say whether she'd changed in the last year, or with the backpacking I was only seeing one side of her (most likely the bottom half), but this time she seemed both possessive and wierdly paranoid. After a week I'd done the mental arithmetic and decided that the sex wasn't worth the crazy, so I announced that I was leaving, saying it was fun but I needed to take the train to denmark in time for a festival (a lie). She went through this gamut of emotions quite rapidly before my eyes: first shock and disbelief, then crying and moaning in German, then angry yelling at me calling me all sorts of ugly things. You should bear in mind that this is a woman I'd had no more than 3 weeks casual sex with and made no commitments to. After this she suddenly composed herself and was all smily as if nothing had happened.
The next day came and I asked to be driven down to the town (about 10 km away) so I could check timetables and buy my ticket. She said she would do this for me when she went to buy food, but when she returned she said she didn't have time but would do it the next day. The next day came and the same thing happened. I got a bit more insistent, and said I wanted to be taken down the next day. She put me off all day, and when she did take me to the station it was closed.
I was starting to get a bit freaked out, she was acting more and more erratic with a real touch of madness behind the eyes and in her voice. She kept talking about where we could live when she finished her law degree, as if this was the big decision facing us. When the next day came and she claimed her car wasn't working, I realised she wasn't going to let me leave. The next morning, I waited to she was in the shower, quickly packed my bag, and walked out. And walked. And walked. It wasn't until my train was pulling away from the station that I relaxed.
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 19:22, 26 replies)

I liked the bit where she smashed your ankles with a sledge hammer.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 19:23, closed)

"I don't want to see you anymore."
"..."
"Anyway, can you give me a lift home?"
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 19:25, closed)

Are you suggesting that after having noticed that the woman was somewhat unstable he ought to have planned a more strategic exit from the situation?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 19:37, closed)

Thing is, I didn't actually dump her that harshly
My heroic way out was to say that I neeeded to get to Denmark, something I'd told her when I arrived
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 19:40, closed)

But you did notice that she was a paranoid bunny boiler.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 19:42, closed)

Did she break your legs as well?
Agree with the above. You decided to break up with her then just sat in HER house like a tin of tomatoes. The fact that she didn't immediately say "OK then, fuck off NOW" like any self-respecting person should have given you a clue that she wasn't straightforward. Then you placidly waited two days for her to drive you a distance you could have walked in two hours. That's called a mixed message, my friend.
(slowly play it cool, Trig, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 19:42, closed)

How dare you wander in here and give sensible advice on the internet.
Just what the hell do you think this is??
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 19:43, closed)

when you say "break-up", it sounds like we should've been fighting over our ikea furninture
it's difficult to reconcile that with my initial "haven't seen or talked to you for a year, but am passing through town again" opening gambit. In that context, asking a lift to the station to continue my travels doesn't sound too exceptional. Agreed, things probably didn't seem like this in her mind, but I contend she had a couple of roos loose in her back paddock.
I do things placidly, because I'm a placid guy
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 19:55, closed)

The German for "Taxi" is ... "Taxi"
Maybe this knowledge would have helped, I give it freely so others may benefit.
( Ghoti Fingers, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 20:25, closed)

very helpful
I could have gone into the empty suburban street and said it to the birds that morning. or I could somehow figured out the number for directory assistance, found a taxi number, called them and explained what I want, all without speaking any more german than "schnell schnell!" and "zees englanders fight like madmen"
this was in the dark days before I carried a mobile, mind
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 20:40, closed)

Excuse me, Fritz, sprechen Sie Englisch?
ENGLISH? Ich will ein Taxi! EIN TAXI?
( Ghoti Fingers, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 20:55, closed)

Why didn't you try
Nein, Nein, Nein?
( broken flange, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 22:16, closed)

"Sie wollten mir zur Reha gehen, ich sagte..."

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 22:38, closed)

I like here how the week's sex remarkably made you forget how you found her house in the first place.
Or, in fact, the ability to arrange any form of transport in a country that you had hitherto been travelling around happily. On your own.

I think you secretly "loved" her.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:41, closed)

I never actually let him go. He's actually wired into a fully-immersive VR environment in my
basement, and I let him think he escaped.
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 1:29, closed)

Ah, now this is textbook internetting, right here.
9.8/10
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 9:38, closed)

I like this
Germans always carry a sense of menace, like scousers only with animal cunning.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Mon 7 Jan 2013, 21:38, closed)

'I stalked this woman to the other side of the world and she seemed a bit put out by it and got all emotional.'

(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:10, closed)

Women, eh?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 9:25, closed)

did I forget to mention I have a magical cock that spits venom in the face of its enemies?

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 18:35, closed)

Unt I still liebe you, Cumquat.
Please come back. Ich kiene leaven der hause in case you come back. Ja?
( Pope Shax XIII uses Visio for picture editing, does it show?, Tue 8 Jan 2013, 22:57, closed)