and another Pea # 2 - The foolishness of youth
The foolishness of youth

It was night and outside, there fore it was also dark, and the teenage bad advice was camping with 100’s of other teenage people. Most satisfyingly, around 30% of them didn’t have willies and where rumoured to be of those mythical beings, TEENAGE GIRLS!!

The young people had travelled from all over the state to attend this bloody great camping extravaganza and much mingling was had. Late on the second night gathered around a random campfire, the very social and horny (that horny feeling only a virgin teenage male can know) bad advice was making friends with a bunch of lads from a place far far away from his home. He had chosen to make friends with this group as they had in their crew girls that where only their friends and from simple observation it appeared no one was attending their crutch caverns.

One talkative spritely young thing made a general announcement that she need to “go wee” but, didn’t want to go by herself as she was scared of the dark. As her dude friends suggested she take a torch or just fuck off in general (they where not nice boys I started to think) she appealed to bad advice to escort her to the camp area set aside for abolutions. And because he was toeyer than a roman sandal and prepared to take any and every possible chance to be in the single company of a female, he agreed.

As they trotted along the darkened bush path she gibbered at a 1000 miles an hour on random and unconnected subjects until arriving at subject of watching people piss (oh, for she was all class). A proposal was made by the bearer of nubile young breasts that if she could watch bad advice drain the vein, she would let him watch her twinkle tinkle.

After a stunned grunt in the affirmative, they stepped off the track into a small clearing and bad advice produced what to this point had only been hand cranked and released the yellow stream.

“It’s too dark” she exclaimed, “I can hear you but, I can’t see you, let me shake it for you” clearly she knew how this process worked. Her arms encircled his waist and gripping the root of the love muscle proceeded to give it a shake that sprayed drops of bladder juice in a 30 meter radius and near detached it from the body but, after a few seconds of shaking, the internal inspector rose to full and glorious attention in her nimble hands to be rewarded with a few fast yet jerky pumps. She stepped out from behind him and her shadowy outline was visible in the dark, the sound of her zip resonated amongst the tree’s and she crouched down and then a whistle of water under pressure through a small opening played like music to his ears but, she was right, it was too dark to see much more than outlines.

“I forgot the paper” she giggled naughtily.

“I have a tissue you can use” offered the iron rigid bad advice.

“I should just wipe it MYSELF?” she asked, with a slight harshness sneaking into her previously light sing song voice.

“well it’s not going to wipe its self now is it” offered the very logical yet very stupid bad advice, while wondering how he could ‘bust a move’ on this possibly interested sweet young thing.

She arose from her crouched position, pushed the now damp tissue back into his hand and strode back to the path and back to the fire, her fear of dark seemingly evaporating in the heat of her, in bad advice’s eyes, unexplained anger.

I often think back to that dark night of camping and sometimes I ponder what might have been but, generally, I think to myself, you stupid stupid stupid stupid boy.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 4:41, 22 replies)

What might have been?
You might have got to wipe the piss-stained clunge of a budding watersports enthusiast. You dodged a bullet mate.
(McChinaman banned, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 7:33, closed)

^ This.
Also "toeyer"?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 8:28, closed)

I always thought it was an Aussie thing
toey usually means cranky or grumpy.
I guess if you're a hormone addled teenager who's keen to plumb the depths without becoming someones urinal then you might be a bit miffed as well.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 8:49, closed)

Oh, ok.
It probably makes more sense spoken aloud, as it just looks like a typo, otherwise.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 9:45, closed)

Toey
To spend the day wandering around with half a mongrel.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 23:40, closed)

Half a Mongrel
To be semi-errect in anticipation of sexual congress.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 23:44, closed)

This just makes less and less sense.
Keep going.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 9:20, closed)

lol, this
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 9:43, closed)

I suspect
that piss removal was only a preliminary excuse for a bit of further furtive fanny fondling.
(ubergeekian, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 18:20, closed)

This wasn't a bullet.
(cs1ca, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 19:34, closed)

Quite possibly
I like to think more she found me so devilishly handsome and charismatic that she was slyly offering me a feel of her queef quarters.

Although, if she was into water sports at 16, imagine the depraved shit she was into by 21.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 23:38, closed)

It's OK, but
I can't quite tune into the helping each other piss thing.

It has the same kind of feel as a spanking scene in a book. You get the feeling the author is far more enthusiastic about it than any reader is likely to be.
(username failed moderation, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 8:37, closed)

Wiping someone's piss only really makes sense if you're looking after an infant, or someone elderly/infirm.
Not exactly sexy times (unless you want to get on the register).
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 9:47, closed)

Your seeing of noncery in every post
reminds me of a Catholic Bishop protecting the community from child raping priests.

Seriously, you should see a professional about this before you do any real harm.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 0:23, closed)

I see paedos!
Turns out Bruce Willis was abusing Hayley Joel Osment the whole time.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 9:18, closed)

Could always have wiped
back to front and given her a nice uti for her trouble.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 9 Jan 2013, 8:57, closed)

pish

( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 12:55, closed)

posh

(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 23:48, closed)

root of the love muscle
Have you ever thought of giving up the day job and writing full time. Wonderful metaphors had me all as stiff as a damp piece of lettuce.
(justin(e), Wed 9 Jan 2013, 17:20, closed)

No, not ever


by the way, fuck off.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Wed 9 Jan 2013, 23:48, closed)

AB thought to himself 'people who refer to themselves in the third person are cunts'.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 10:49, closed)

bad_advice says it's true

(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Thu 10 Jan 2013, 11:32, closed)