Office Monkey
For the local MP (conservative) in his solicitors office. Easiest six months I could handle before leaving, prior to the place having a routine inspection of its records. £10,000 had been misplaced, through what I think was the HR managers incompetence.

Account numbers and case numbers were separate system and there was no way of matching up the old account numbers with their cases. I offered to make such a system (simple access database), an offer which was refused. Come inspection time I walked out on them leaving their current MS Word database with a macro which would delete the file a week later, a little present I left them.

Other than that the job was just drinking coffee all day, reading B3ta, occasionally hand delivering a letter (I.e. fag break), walking to B&Q for a radiator key (McDonalds breakfast) and playing Solitaire.

Interesting working for an M.P, he had a burgundy leather case containing a freemasonry sash and rulebook. Turns out he's one of their money handlers, clerk of accounting. I know this as this box is in my possession now, hehehe.

As a side note i'm afraid he got re-elected in the recent elections.
(Joe Guevara is well known for stealing your biscuits, Sun 12 Sep 2010, 23:53, 7 replies)

so you had a dead easy job and you dont mention anyone doing anything to cross you or mistreat you, yet you wrecked their files and stole stuff? nice. please come and work for me...
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 0:01, closed)

i'm afraid this makes you look like a cunt

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 0:08, closed)

I cant tell
If I am being trolled or not, so I suspect I am.

However, if " Come inspection time I walked out on them leaving their current MS Word database with a macro which would delete the file a week later, a little present I left them." is true, you're a bit of a cock. I mean how dare these people with their technophobia refuse what they see as advanced technical help from a self confessed office monkey.

This said, at least he was conservative.
(Foxinsockssir, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 0:24, closed)

Only the fact that he was Tory...
... lets you get away with this. You're still a cunt, though.
(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 8:55, closed)

You're a bit of a cunt
You messed them around and you stole personal belongings from someone
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 10:32, closed)

pics
of the freemasons rulebook plz.
(Scrumpy does not negotiate with terrorists,, Mon 13 Sep 2010, 11:58, closed)

Being fair
To be fair, although the macro is unforgivable, he never actually states he stole the Freemason's paraphernalia; maybe he's now a member of the aforementioned society and holds those items legitimately....
(FF_Sam is currently on call...., Mon 13 Sep 2010, 13:29, closed)