I'll keep it brief. Bullet points in fact:
many years ago.

1. 14 year old friend decides to drink vodka during daytime visit to shops (out of a Tango 'still' bottle if I recall correctly).

2. Friend goes a bit wobbly on Southend-on-sea 'pleasure' pier. Vomit all over the Fackin' shop.

3. Someone phones ambulance services.

4. Ambulance takes friend (and me) from pier to southend hospital.

5. Paramedic/Driver calls us a pair of cunts for being stupid sods thus making him finish work late and miss the football match he wanted to watch.

That is all I have to say.
(Executive Chef, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:40, 17 replies)

riviting

(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:47, closed)

Exactly, that's why I felt the need to share. It was either that or the tedium of my job.
(Executive Chef, Wed 22 May 2013, 17:25, closed)

you do sound like a cunt, maybe he had a point?

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:53, closed)

Don't be too harsh, BD.
At 14, being a cunt is compulsory.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 17 May 2013, 12:56, closed)

Preaching to the converted MM.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 17 May 2013, 13:15, closed)

BraynDoveston

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 May 2013, 13:22, closed)

How odd.
I can't work out who you used to be, by the way.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 17 May 2013, 14:01, closed)

They're all me.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 17 May 2013, 14:21, closed)

Cheers
Alright
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 17 May 2013, 13:03, closed)

I did wonder where I could go to buy myself a Fackin'.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 17 May 2013, 13:21, closed)

You do sound like a cunt, maybe he had a point?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 17 May 2013, 13:33, closed)

He's an old cunt now though

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 18 May 2013, 12:55, closed)

Those paramedic/driver guys really are perceptive aren't they.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 May 2013, 13:39, closed)

They're quite highly trained those chaps, that looks like a spot-on diagnosis.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 17 May 2013, 19:12, closed)

But surely he'd have known that the engurland game wasn't going to be terrible anyway?
(Executive Chef, Wed 22 May 2013, 17:27, closed)

Keeping it brief
1. Those are not bullet points.
2. No one but a cunt goes on the pier. Although you lose some cunt points for calling it a 'pleasure' pier.
(searlichek, Fri 17 May 2013, 20:48, closed)

1. I did wonder if someone would point that out.

2. I never said I wasn't a cunt.
(Executive Chef, Wed 22 May 2013, 17:25, closed)