Cost me several years of my life.......
Romance, they say, is dead. Not so! Harken ye to the tale of my engagement, and begin to understand ye why it didn't last.

When I was.... ooooooh, 19 I believe, myself and my then "lady" friend were invited to an 18th birthday party. I didn't know the guy, it was someone she had been to school with, but never one to refuse a shindig I toddled along with her.

While we were there, we met up with her then best friend and her fiance, the two of them having only very recently gotten engaged. Cue the obvious ring unveiling and lots of "oooh"s, "aaaah"s and "It's gorgeous".

Within about 5 minutes, the puppy dog eyes started. "That ring is lovely isn't it?"

"Yes."

"I wish I had one."

"Mm hmm."

"Get me one?"

"No."

And that's how the next two hours went. "Get me one?" "No". "Please?" "No". *Huff* *Indifference* "Pleeeeeease?" "No".

And so it should have remained. But aaaaah, dear reader, we know that it didn't. For a combination of her wearing me down gradually and several vodkas soon began to wear my patience thin. Through the warm smirnoff haze, my mind grasped on to the fact that simply agreeing to buy her a damned ring would make her happy, probably guarantee some fun times with her fantastic norks later and simultaneously end the constant whine-huff cycle that had been going on for hours.

So, on the 475th time of asking, I replied "Oh alright if it'll shut you up, I'll get you a ring." The glee on her face was unbelievable. I settled back into my chair, smothered in kisses and adulation, and awaited my soft, bouncy prize later on.

I was in such a good mood that when she asked me to dance 5 minutes later, I even agreed. I toddled up to the dance floor and commenced the walking-around-holding-on-dance. Then, before my brain finally caught up with what had actually just happened, the machinery of her plan kicked into action. The music quietened slightly, and the DJ's voice boomed over the mic. "And a big congratulations to Hazel and baw__bag, who have just announced that they are engaged!"

You know the dolly-zoom shot in jaws? That happened to me.

So, not only had she conned me into asking her to marry me whilst drunk, she had also simultaneously upstaged the poor guy whose birthday it was and stolen the limelight for herself. Again.

Don't get me wrong. We'd been together for four and a half years, engagement was on the cards anyway, but I had hoped my proposal to be a down-on-one-knee in a restaurant deal, or at least in some romantic setting, not "Oh alright if it'll shut you up". It was a warning sign that I should have heeded but didn't.

Cost? Well, the ring cost me somewhere in the region of £250 (the first one, by the time we married she'd had 3 engagement rings thanks to her whining and greed) which was a lot of money to me on the pittance I earned, but the real cost was the next eight years of my life, which I have probably mentioned far too many times already.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 17 May 2010, 15:30, 17 replies)

Three engagement rings?
I was under the impression that an engagement was a one-off thing. Once you're engaged, you're engaged until you (or they) cancel it. Once it's cancelled, I was also under the impression you return the ring to the giver and decide maybe getting married isn't for you.
( Bats, Mon 17 May 2010, 15:45, closed)

Yup, but whining has a strange effect.
No amount of telling her it wasn't the ring that was important, it was the sentiment and what the ring stood for got through her skull, she'd just go in a huff until she got her own way. She did eventually tell me she felt bad for whingeing for new rings and that her first ring should have been more important to her, but by then she was already well into the transformation into a creature from hades.

It might also be worth pointing out that she's 30 and has had 2 huge white weddings.

So far.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 17 May 2010, 15:59, closed)

It's been said far better than I ever could.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=g2jAwiq6YsE
(Phaedron Dizzying epiphanies from the bottom of my pint., Mon 17 May 2010, 16:48, closed)

Hahahaha very true :D
However, top norks also had something to do with it.
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 17 May 2010, 17:01, closed)

I've had two engagement rings returned to me
when their respective wearers (some 7 years apart) "decided getting married wasn't for them".

Both of the rings were thrown at me with great force. I've tried engagement twice, I won't be falling into that trap again, oh no.
(WillI'mNot logs in twice a year, every year, Tue 18 May 2010, 11:00, closed)

In a similarly romantic moment, whilst in a shopping centre with my current missus, as the conversation edged towards the subject of marriage my 'down on one knee moment' basically entailed me saying: "you'd probably say no anyway." To which she replied: "Well, no - I wouldn't."

Then it hit me. I had just 'proposed' halfway up an escalator. And she had said yes.

I've still not bought a ring though. When I do it, i'll do it proper, like.
(god_is_a_ghoti Carpe Deum., Mon 17 May 2010, 16:49, closed)

I hear Elizabeth duke does
a fine line in engagement rings


*shhhh, she'll never know*
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Mon 17 May 2010, 16:53, closed)

I'd have instantly been dragged to the nearest jewellery shop
via the bank.

This is nice though :D
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 17 May 2010, 17:05, closed)

She's ok with waiting fortunately - more important things to spend our money on like bills and what-not...

But my best mate just got engaged in Thailand recently and all our mates are having babies/getting married etc, so my days are numbered I think.
(god_is_a_ghoti Carpe Deum., Mon 17 May 2010, 18:11, closed)

I got engaged when I was 19
Only we were both horizontal and covered with chocolate mousse.
The things you'll agree to for nork access as a teenager...

Similar story to yours from there though.

It didn't last either.

Not to worry, am marrying the current lady in September and her ring only cost me my motorbike.

"Only" he says. Weeeps!
( Dervel OTBC, Mon 17 May 2010, 16:50, closed)

Those norks!
They have brought so many of us to grief.

I do miss them, though
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Mon 17 May 2010, 17:05, closed)

I learnt recently that it's known as a "trombone shot"
which is rather sweet, really
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 17 May 2010, 17:06, closed)

you made me laugh and feel geeky all at once
for knowing EXACTLY which shot in jaws you're talking about
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 17 May 2010, 18:46, closed)

sigh
Since I've been wondering lately whether I really want to actually tie the knot with Mrs Biscuit (supposedly) to-be, your story of "i'll get you a ring if it will shut you up" is uncannily accurate.

I need to start reading a lot more of www.nomarriage.com, and get rid of the demanding 'merican lardy (she didn't used to be lardy) and go for a Thai hottie.

Or a Vietnamese spinner.
(airbiscuit last dropped a meaty one in the lift on, Mon 17 May 2010, 20:49, closed)

I'll show you real romance
MrsScars had an old dress ring, which I filched one weekend, so as to get the size of her finger. We were pretty much sure of each other, but I wanted do it the old fashioned way, down on one knee , big surprise etc. But I thought of a slight twist:

So New Year's Eve 1989, Big Ben chiming, I got down on one knee, and said "darling, will you be MrsScars?"

She could tell I meant it, as the ring was balanced on the end of my....

Length? No apologies at all!
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Mon 17 May 2010, 23:11, closed)

Hahahaha excellent :D
My best mate proposed in an unusual way too, though more cruel than anything. He came home from work acting grumpy and distant until his mrs asked what was wrong. "I dunno. Something's not right. Something's missing" he said, and sulked off. She followed and kept asking, getting more and more frantic until she was on the verge of tears, when he spun round and presented her with a ring. "This is what's missing"

Awwwwww.

How he survived that I have no idea :P
( baw__bag contains traces of nuts on, Tue 18 May 2010, 1:02, closed)

Look on the bright side
Baw Bag's "Whine-Huff Cycle" will live on after you in the scientific literature about the psychology of women. I certainly intend on giving this important new term a regular airing from now on.
( electric_goat, Tue 18 May 2010, 9:14, closed)