The Tena for Women Assesment Test - (TWAT for short)
Whilst having a conversation with one of my friends whilst 'slightly' inebriated, we were interupted by the TV advert for Tena lady pads. Being men, drunk and probably too immature for our age men, we started discussing the possible efficacy of these magical pads.

After an extensive discussion, we decided that it would be of great benefit to women, and maybe men, the world over if we experimented with them just to see how much pee they could actually hold before what we dubbed 'total urinary containment failre' occurred.

Very soon after this decision to test the pads was made, the experiment was designed.


Method
======
Basically myself and my friend had a pee at the same time (not literally, thats just wrong) and ensured we didn't drink anything for at least 6 hours so we were 'empty' - then based on the fact that the bladder will only hold around a pint (ish) we both drank 600ml of water. We then obtained a box of Tena lady pads and tossed a coin to see who would wear the pads (the other would be the control.)

I won the toss so decided to wear the pad - a bold and clever decision so I thought. So I placed the pad into my undercrackers and waited until we were both bursting for the loo.

The time came - we were nervous - we knew that there was no real way to quantify the test, so we would judge the result by two things: size of pee patch on control vs tena pad and amount of time taken for pee patch to form.

We stood in front of the mirror, me with my pad and my mate with nothing for protection. Then we counted down.


3



2



1





PISS!



We both started. It felt warm and uncomfortable and the patches on our jeans were growing uncontrollably. After what seemed like an eternity - the wee flow ceased. Both of us COVERED in our own piss looking like we had a map of russia on our jeans.


Results
=======
Epic failure for the tena pad. It seems if you leak more than a thimble full of liquid onto them, you lose containment. More importantly - the realisation that we were standing in a room and had just pissed ourselves dawned on us. Then I realised that not only was I covered in hot piss, I had a damn incontinence pad in my pants...


Conclusion
==========
We learn't that Tena lady pads will NOT contain an entire wee and that we are both clearly imbaciles of the HIGHEST order.


(NOTE: this is my first post - be kind!)
(Spangulum nailing your mother since 1824, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:05, 11 replies)

Who lost the toss to buy them?
Their only made for little leaks, not for full-on peeing.
( girlinthehole, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:09, closed)

aaa
hahaha!!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:25, closed)

*applauds*
Well written, and funny to boot

An excellent debut - welcome to QOTW
(Pavlov's Frog figures no-one really reads sigs anyway, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:44, closed)

A fine debut
Welcome to the madhouse
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:38, closed)

Your first post?
Post more.
Very funny.
*clicks*
( thealternativefact, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 16:32, closed)

A period is only 4-6 tablespoonfuls
(though it feels like 4-6 bucketfuls). So that's about a tablespoonful over the course of an entire day. No wonder the pads can't take a whole piss.
( Bob Todd whee, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 18:44, closed)

Todd
I think these are incontinence pads rather than to stop a lady's red oozings, hence they should be able to absorb a full blown four-pinter break the seal style piss. Otherwise, what's the point?
(Stu Moo winner of five nobble piece prizes, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 1:03, closed)

excellent first post :D

( Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 25 Jul 2008, 9:36, closed)

First post?
Excellently written, and made me laugh rather a bit too much. Kudos to you, Sir.
(Pavlov'sDog is all out of pavlova, Sat 26 Jul 2008, 12:49, closed)

Aaaaargh!
I just office lolled so much that hot coffee came out of my nose.
(Rotten_Cointreau is a proper scientician, Mon 28 Jul 2008, 16:19, closed)

The pads're only designed to cope with little dribbles.
Full incontinence is met with a fearsome range of products, inluding adult-sized variations of those pull-on disposable nappy-pants you see todddlers cavorting around wearing in TV ads.

If you bought a pack of them you could experiment with playing 'incontinent' footer, rugger or pool. I'd enjoy reading about that!
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Tue 29 Jul 2008, 7:44, closed)