If you want to be centrifugally forced
It's the Waltzers that should be your ride of choice. It will whiplash at the dip in the track and then again at the peak of the humps. That combined with the rather Romany bloke who somehow stands unnervingly calm in the middle bit giving our carriage a strategically timed push meant that the one me and the missus were on was going implausably fast.

I'd never been on the waltzers before and I was not expecting the speed, I hadn't sat back in the seat and was happily holding on to the handrail. However, once it was going full tilt, I was hanging on for dear life, much like a rotary Harold Lloyd stunt.

Mrs Sandettie was most amused at my struggle, a struggle which was weakening my grip and I finally let go, flying back into my seat, my left hand catching the side of my face with substantial force, dealing me a proper shiner. Not like I could do anything as I was hopelessly pinned in my seat for what seemed like forever, unable to move, barely able to move my arms and being subject to cheek-flattening forces.

Mrs Sandettie was thoroughly enjoying herself making all the usual fairground shrieks and 'wheeeee' noises. I wasn't enjoying myself and all I could think of was the centrifuge scene from Moonraker, and the thought of some evil ride operator steadily turning a dial to increase the speed.

Eventually, it began slowing down and came to a halt. I got out, barely able to walk and white as a sheet except for the nascent black eye I was developing.

I fucking hate the waltzers.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 12:17, 1 reply)

i love them
the trick is to not struggle
(Monkeystrumpet monkey. Monkey, MONKEY!!!, Fri 10 Jun 2011, 15:56, closed)