One time....
I tried to reply to everyones QOTW answers with offensive comments and poorly written English.

That was the time that I faked being a member of /talk
(mon bison powered by magnets, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 15:08, 33 replies)

Yeah
well so's your mum.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 15:11, closed)

fuk
fuckoffyoufuckinlooooooosa
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 15:13, closed)

hahaha
^ ooh touched a nerve by the looks of it.
(TheRiddler Hmmmmm... I concur., Mon 14 Jul 2008, 15:15, closed)

Cunts!
Ooooo! it's quite easy pretending to be on the talk board isn't it.
( girlinthehole, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 15:17, closed)

No it fucking isn't BGB
you fucking fuk fuck !!!!1111!!!LOLOLOLOL

Wow, it's like pretending to have a lobotomy!
(Bazongaloid, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 15:20, closed)

I never knew that people were resticted to posting on just one part of the site.
I try to post on all parts of the site.

Well, except /links.
( Thinker, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 15:23, closed)

Ooh!
Raise the standard! Form ranks! Let battle commence!
(jennymnemonic, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 15:39, closed)

There's no need to be so bitter!
Seriously, calm down and find a girlfriend or something.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 15:44, closed)

I find...

that the people of /talk are beautiful, highly articulate exponents of improvisational wit...



naaaaaaaahzzzzzBBBZZZZBZZzzZZZBBZZZZLOLOLOLLlOO!!!!O!LL1111l1l1!!!""2p2p222l,LLLLLLBBBBZZZzzzZZZZBBBbbbbbbbbzzzzzzzzzz

etc et-fucking-cetera
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 14 Jul 2008, 15:53, closed)

you forgot...
zzZZzzzZZlolololololololBzzzZZzzzZZLOLOLOLlololozzZZzzzZZlolololololololBzzzZZzzzZZLOLOLOLlololozzZZzzzZZlolololololololBzzzZZzzzZZLOLOLOLlololozzZZzzzZZlolololololololBzzzZZzzzZZLOLOLOLlololo

repeat ad nauseam.

and when it gets old, repeat it again...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 15:56, closed)

@Woodside.
I had a girlfriend once. It was your mum.
( girlinthehole, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 15:57, closed)

@bgb
if she looks anything like him you wouldn't, not even with someone else's.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 16:05, closed)

Do you even know what I look like?
Or are you constructing an imaginary caricature of me based on the fact that I'm immune to your childish attention-seeking and am therefore one of your despicable internet enemies?

It's thanks to people like you that misogynist stereotypes still exist and get propagated.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 18:44, closed)

WOBBLE WOBBLE WOBBLE
Get her!
( Esme Weatherwax I swear on my tash it's daycent hash, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 18:48, closed)

I think you touched a nerve there.

( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 14 Jul 2008, 19:11, closed)

there's photos
of b3ta bashes all over the internet.

what's an "internet enemy"? how can you have an "enemy" comprised of a bunch of little letters on a screen? that may well be the dumbest and most pointless expression i've ever heard, in a career that is full of them.

anyway, i'd far rather appear attention seeking and childish than a complete and total wobble-hypocrite, so i guess we're both happy.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 Jul 2008, 19:13, closed)

I think an "internet enemy"
is someone who feels that they are mighty warriors doing battle online in chat rooms, defending their arguments with such brilliance and smiting their enemies with such vitriolic prose that none dare stand up to them. I think you'll find most of them here.

Basically they're the sort who take this waaay too seriously and make statements like I'm so awesome that if you want a guide to the shittest /talkers, you can just look for 'people' who have persistently wobbled at both me and JMG. Or 'people' who don't have the balls to stand up to JMG and take it out on me instead.

Fear his might.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 14 Jul 2008, 22:28, closed)

You do seem to be very keen to defend her, for someone who's never going to have sex with her, ever.
Are you really so desperate and virginal that you'll readily pander to anything in a dress if you think you can defend its views against the awful truth-sayers who aren't pathetically grateful to see pictures of its tits?

How many other internet 'girls' have you come on to? You sleazy subhuman date-rapist. I hope you get convicted and get beaten to death in prison.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 2:37, closed)

Woodside Industries
Takes it up the chuff, and cries when JMG says nasty things to him.
Why do we defend Ms Swipe? Because:
a) she doesn't need our defence, she can look after herself, and
b) there is somewhat a depth of "community" in the QOTW section, we will defend anyone against the invaders from /talk. Apart from Kaol, of course. He should be thrown to them, knives and all. :)
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 7:22, closed)

This sort of sums up
the lack of any kind of awareness of woodside outside of his sad little internet life. Pretty much everyone who takes the time to talk to TRL knows he has a girlfriend and also several children, so why would he be expecting to have sex with rachelswipe?

Of course the other thing he's missed is that TRL is the third sexiest B3tan (and the first sexiest male b3tan) and therefore it's pretty much a given that the moment rachelswipe claps eyes on him her drawers will be dropping quicker than you can blink.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 8:17, closed)

what interests me is that
Woodside Industries seems to think that as this is on the internet, no one could possibly have a motive for taking someone's side in an argument other than that they want to have sex with them.

This is in spite of the fact that we all know that it is unlikely we will meet, and most of us (TRL in particular being of a ripe age with kids) are definitely not virginal.

these leads me to think that Woodside Industries himself must be a stereotypical, spotty, fat, ugly, virginal internet nerd. Otherwise he'd surely not assume that the rest of us are too!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 8:41, closed)

well,
WI has a couple of stock phrases that he trots out persistently, one being that other people have "pointless, empty" lives (posting 400,000 messsages on /talk being, of course, the designer hallmark of a popular, successful guy who has to fend ravenous women off with a stick), and the other that it's all about teh interweb sex.

although most of it is mercifully muffled by the gigantic chip he seems to have on both shoulders, his replies are much more telling about what's going on inside his own little head. if you could be arsed to look that is!

quote from WI:

"The QOTW folk are only there because none of the other boards can tolerate their insufferable dullness. I vote we have a cull. It's a hotbed of pandering, back-slapping and intolerable tedium :("

so why the fuck bother reading it then? surely it can't possibly be because he has nothing better to do.

still, at least his bile is well-written. frankly, there's a lot worse out there.

ps: al - "drawers"?? when am i supposed to be swooning over TRL, 1887??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 9:45, closed)

Woodside does have a way with words doesn't he.
And if you're an uptight QOTW regular who can't stand the smell of the truth, shut up instead of whinging at me ad nauseam. Because you're intolerably dull, and I am superior to you in just about every way. You appalling fat failure.


*laughs*


I particularly like 'smell of the truth'. It's almost poetic.

Edit - I've just seen his picture and now realise why he thinks were all fat. Compared to him Kate Moss is a heffalump.
( girlinthehole, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 9:54, closed)

what a complete penarse
I couldn't give a flying fuck what people get up to on other boards, or even on this one to be honest.

As long as the people I've come to like are ok, and I remain entertained then why complain.

as for the accusations of dullness...is there something particularly dull about having a normal conversation with some like-minded people?

edit: and another thing, I can imagine him and his cronies sitting there hugging themselves and crowing "oh, they've fallen into our trap, we've successfully baited them and they've risen to it!"

if this is the case and they just do it for the sake of getting a rise (fnarr) then here's a nugget of truth: acting like a wanker to people you don't know via the internet in order to try to make them argue with you, and then claiming that they are sexually-frustrated/have no life/are dull is not 1)clever b)funny 6)a good use of anyone's time, regardless of how little time it takes up.

I don't give a shit if they keep doing it or not. it just puzzles me why they bother.

and I don't like a puzzle
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 9:59, closed)

omglol omglol ( . )( . ) etc
that is hilarious. "the smell of truth"? what truth has he told? where?!

i've never known anyone take their interwebby existence so seriously before, this is genius.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 10:00, closed)

@rachel
I don't know when you've been swooning over TRL, I was just alluding to the fact that you wear gigantic flowery undergarments with frills around the legs.

I know this to be true.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 10:02, closed)

@ al
oh my god, where are you sitting, under my desk?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 10:30, closed)

Huh. That's odd.
I didn't think I was "defending" rachelswipe, merely explaining what an "internet enemy" is supposed to be. Frankly a female attorney has no need for a middle-aged engineer to be "defending" her in any manner, as she's more than capable of taking care of her own arguments and whatnot.

Ah well. Flame on, WI, flame on. Beat people to death with your tiny but perfectly formed penis, lovingly shaped by countless hours of polishing, and shower others with your awesome wrath. The likes of us live in mortal fear of such beings as you.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 15 Jul 2008, 11:48, closed)

Funny how he
bangs on about cliques and such, yet does everything he can to suck up to JMG's little anti-fatty bandwagon.

Parrotting somebody else is not a good way of making yourself sound good. Poor little Woodside Industries.
( Kroney, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 11:53, closed)

I didn't mean defended as such
and "take the side of" doesn't quite cut it either....

hopefully you know what I mean.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 11:58, closed)

"tiny but perfectly formed penis
lovingly shaped by countless hours of polishing"

this has made me laugh. a lot.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 12:18, closed)

I briefly took him off ignore
to see his arguments being presented here. Only to find he hasn't come back.

Back on ignore for now. What a prick.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 15 Jul 2008, 12:27, closed)

I think it is time to introduce....
Keyboard Konan!

The purveyor of nasty comments and all things goat.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 15 Jul 2008, 13:19, closed)