Nicholas Cage...
I'm trembling with rage even as I type this. I hate everything about him. I hate his face, his hair, his voice, his lungs, the soles of his feet, his aura, his armpit hair. I don't know if he has any but I also hate all his pets and armchairs.

If I see a poster for one of his films I have to hold my hand up to obscure my view of him.

I can't remember the exact reasons behind my utter contempt for him but I'd like to hog tie him, suspend him from a tree and spend an afternoon whacking him in the face with a dead hare.


.....and relax.
(Elmintrude has lumps of it round the back, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 13:16, 10 replies)

He's a horsefaced, balding cunt.
Action hero? Mr fucking Ed more like.

How can you explain his career?

Nepotism in action.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 13:23, closed)

Cf. Kevin Costner
Read the entire script of 'Bull Durham' online. Thought "This looks like a great film, even if it is about baseball, about which I know nothing." Watched it when it came on TV one night. Switched off after about five minutes of watching Costner's peculiar hammy woodenness butchering what would have been a great speech. Wondered what "Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves" would have been like if it had featured somebody less shit.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 13:30, closed)

agree.
I'm gutted that he's in the kick-ass movie, as it looks awesome but i know that im going to have to put up with with his stupid horse-crossed-with-plank-of-wood face during it. Talentless bastard.
(unciebana It's good, but it's not right., Thu 4 Feb 2010, 13:55, closed)

As we say in the office.
Nicholas Cage is the hallmark of a shit film.

Any films that he has been in that are any good are any good despite him, not because of him.

I once heard that he's related to Coppola but decided not to use his name when he went into acting so that he wasn't given roles out of nepotism.
I rather think it was because Coppola didn't want anyone with the same surname sullying the film industry and force him to change it.
(hagis_uk, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 14:09, closed)

Ghost Rider
It could have been good but..............
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 14:15, closed)

He was good in Wild at Heart
...and I enjoyed Knowing, but Dark City (which is essentially the same film) kicks its arse all over the place.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 4 Feb 2010, 17:58, closed)

I think...
David Lynch and a younger, firmer Laura Dern made Wild at Heart. Although my burning desire to hang, draw and quarter Cage may be forcing me to say that. I can't comment on Knowing (well I can but it'd be mere speculation i.e. it's shit, he's a cunt) as the most recent film I saw of his was Snake Eyes in 1999.

I think I've remembered the exact scene that started all this. Do you remember the trailer for Gone In 60 Seconds? There was a bit in that where he sort of pointed with both hands, shook them about a bit and shouted "LET'S DO IT!". It made my piss boil.

Speaking of Laura Dern, I found this on a link dump (honest!!) the other day.....how queer.

ijpeffwa.friendsofsmash.co.uk/
(Elmintrude has lumps of it round the back, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 7:30, closed)

gets a click
no attempts at an explanation, just focusing on the solution.

I'd suggest filming it. I'd pay to watch that.
( kappynitty doubled your entendre on, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 10:04, closed)

Three words:
Wicker
Man
Remake


*shakes head in disbelief*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 10:27, closed)

I'd forgotten....
about The Wicker Man remake. Remakes are another pet hate of mine so a remake of a film I love starring a man I despise is about as appealing to me as being stripped naked and locked in a room with a band of horny gorillas.

Have you seen it Monty? Did it make you want to pop your eyes out with a rusty spoon?
(Elmintrude has lumps of it round the back, Fri 5 Feb 2010, 10:41, closed)