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This is a question Family codes and rituals

Freddy Woo writes, "as a child we used to have a 'whoever cuts doesn't choose the slice' rule with cake. It worked brilliantly, but it's left me completely anal about dividing up food - my wife just takes the piss as I ritually compare all the slice sizes."

What codes and rituals does your family have?

(, Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:05)
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Can't be arsed to make up the story but it'd be along the lines of: All you [insert term of abuse here] make me [vomit/angry/want to kick kittens - delete as apropriate]. Well, isn't it SO fortunate you all have lots of happy stories to tell about [insert QOTW topic here]. I don't, so I fail to see why you lot shouldn't suffer. [Insert pithy, witty statement here.] [Insert amusing sex anecdote.] You fucks.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:14, 20 replies)
I can't be bothered
to write a witty and amusing put down based on the premise that you are old/haggard/dried up/dead inside/likely to die alone surrounded by cats.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:16, closed)
the cats will be dead
on the basis that I'll take as many of the furry fuckers with me as I can.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:17, closed)
I'm impressed
you didn't notice my spelling mistake.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:23, closed)
I did
but I knew you'd ninja it. You're sneaky like that.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:23, closed)
like a sex fox covered in baby oil.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:27, closed)
I was thinking "sneaky,
like a sneaker"
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:28, closed)
You may have been thinking that
but when you see my sex fox covered in baby oil, that's all you'll ever think about.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:33, closed)
It's all I think about now
because I want to know how the baby oil doesn't stick to the furry bits, like a heavily-scented see-through oil slick.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:40, closed)
It does
but that's what makes it so good, it can slide in anywhere without any unpleasant friction.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:49, closed)
I like
the friction. Friction is what makes it burn, baby!
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:51, closed)
Some friction
is good, too much friction is bad. Especially in some places. The sex fox has just the right amount of friction where it matters.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:54, closed)
Will you two just get a room.
And can we watch?
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:57, closed)
Hell, you can join in if you want. There's plenty of sex fox to go round.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:59, closed)
I don't get rooms
with b3tans anymore.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 13:05, closed)
You just do it
in the street surrounded by tramps.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 13:06, closed)
Like the rest of us.

(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 13:20, closed)
*adopts tom baker voice*
"yes I must have done I've just dropped my chips"
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 13:22, closed)
Me neither.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 13:07, closed)
It is a post for all seasons
This handy template will save a lot of time in future QOTW.
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:23, closed)
You are angry with the world...
...come talk to me, and I will soothe your wounds. Or possibly join in on the rant. Yes, that's *much* more likely...!
(, Thu 27 Nov 2008, 13:08, closed)

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