Family codes and rituals
Freddy Woo writes, "as a child we used to have a 'whoever cuts doesn't choose the slice' rule with cake. It worked brilliantly, but it's left me completely anal about dividing up food - my wife just takes the piss as I ritually compare all the slice sizes."
What codes and rituals does your family have?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:05)
Freddy Woo writes, "as a child we used to have a 'whoever cuts doesn't choose the slice' rule with cake. It worked brilliantly, but it's left me completely anal about dividing up food - my wife just takes the piss as I ritually compare all the slice sizes."
What codes and rituals does your family have?
( , Thu 20 Nov 2008, 18:05)
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Rant
Can't be arsed to make up the story but it'd be along the lines of: All you [insert term of abuse here] make me [vomit/angry/want to kick kittens - delete as apropriate]. Well, isn't it SO fortunate you all have lots of happy stories to tell about [insert QOTW topic here]. I don't, so I fail to see why you lot shouldn't suffer. [Insert pithy, witty statement here.] [Insert amusing sex anecdote.] You fucks.
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:14, 20 replies)
Can't be arsed to make up the story but it'd be along the lines of: All you [insert term of abuse here] make me [vomit/angry/want to kick kittens - delete as apropriate]. Well, isn't it SO fortunate you all have lots of happy stories to tell about [insert QOTW topic here]. I don't, so I fail to see why you lot shouldn't suffer. [Insert pithy, witty statement here.] [Insert amusing sex anecdote.] You fucks.
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:14, 20 replies)
I can't be bothered
to write a witty and amusing put down based on the premise that you are old/haggard/dried up/dead inside/likely to die alone surrounded by cats.
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:16, closed)
to write a witty and amusing put down based on the premise that you are old/haggard/dried up/dead inside/likely to die alone surrounded by cats.
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:16, closed)
the cats will be dead
on the basis that I'll take as many of the furry fuckers with me as I can.
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:17, closed)
on the basis that I'll take as many of the furry fuckers with me as I can.
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:17, closed)
You may have been thinking that
but when you see my sex fox covered in baby oil, that's all you'll ever think about.
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:33, closed)
but when you see my sex fox covered in baby oil, that's all you'll ever think about.
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:33, closed)
It's all I think about now
because I want to know how the baby oil doesn't stick to the furry bits, like a heavily-scented see-through oil slick.
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:40, closed)
because I want to know how the baby oil doesn't stick to the furry bits, like a heavily-scented see-through oil slick.
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:40, closed)
It does
but that's what makes it so good, it can slide in anywhere without any unpleasant friction.
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:49, closed)
but that's what makes it so good, it can slide in anywhere without any unpleasant friction.
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:49, closed)
Some friction
is good, too much friction is bad. Especially in some places. The sex fox has just the right amount of friction where it matters.
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:54, closed)
is good, too much friction is bad. Especially in some places. The sex fox has just the right amount of friction where it matters.
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:54, closed)
Watch?
Hell, you can join in if you want. There's plenty of sex fox to go round.
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:59, closed)
Hell, you can join in if you want. There's plenty of sex fox to go round.
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:59, closed)
*adopts tom baker voice*
"yes I must have done I've just dropped my chips"
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 13:22, closed)
"yes I must have done I've just dropped my chips"
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 13:22, closed)
It is a post for all seasons
This handy template will save a lot of time in future QOTW.
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:23, closed)
This handy template will save a lot of time in future QOTW.
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 12:23, closed)
You are angry with the world...
...come talk to me, and I will soothe your wounds. Or possibly join in on the rant. Yes, that's *much* more likely...!
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 13:08, closed)
...come talk to me, and I will soothe your wounds. Or possibly join in on the rant. Yes, that's *much* more likely...!
( , Thu 27 Nov 2008, 13:08, closed)
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