My uncle
Comes to weddings, is charming and funny for a few hours, then gets drunk when you're not looking and flips out and chases someone down the road threatening to kick their arse.

We don't invite him anymore, but no one has told my aunt what's happening, so she just thinks we're being rude when we don't go to their parties, and when she doesn't get invited to ours.

I wouldn't mind, but I'm getting married next year. I'd like her to come, and not him. How can I possibly play it? Suggestions please.
(sabre-tooth monkey, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 12:33, 17 replies)

Ask her to come, tell her that you don't want him to come, and explain the reason.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 12:36, closed)

Thanks - that's what I keep telling my folks, but they don't like that idea.
I'll give her a call later this month.
(sabre-tooth monkey, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 12:39, closed)

They don't like it, eh?
Sucks to be them. It's your wedding.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 12:43, closed)

Agree with this! :D
( cakelady, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 12:44, closed)

Yup. He's a grown up and can either learn to behave better or cope with the consequences. They're grown ups and should've learnt by now that you are too.
( Yell Whoop continued to be a nin-com-poop on, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 15:06, closed)

Entirely this.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 16:30, closed)

I'd bite the bullet and tell her the truth; tbh it isn't fair that she's been kept in the dark
( cakelady, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 12:43, closed)

I have this problem too.
Getting married next year, I'd really like to invite my (ex-)uncle, whom my maternal aunt divorced years ago. I don't want to invite my aunt, because she's a passive-agressive manipulative headcase. Even my mother doesn't like her, and she's her sister: however, my mother also feels that we have to invite my aunt, and her new husband, simply because it's the done thing.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:15, closed)

It's your wedding
Some mothers go absolutely bonkers when it comes to their daughters weddings. My advice is to pay for the whole thing yourself, plan it without any input from anyone (other than your spouse to be), and it could be a lot more fun. Feelings might be hurt initially, but they will get over it and as it is your wedding, you deserve to have what you want and invite who you want.

(That’s how we did it anyway and it worked out great, not a fancy wedding, but it was fun and relaxed and amazingly, we are still married almost 20 years later).
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:40, closed)

Maybe a bit far fetched...
...but how about an alcohol free wedding?
( fozberry, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:17, closed)

Deviant!

(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:41, closed)

Fuck off.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 16:30, closed)

Heretic
Burn him at the stake!
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 16:50, closed)

Call him
and tell him to behave himself, have words with aunt on the day b4 the drinking starts.
( The Scrunt Wants a Dozen Pints, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 13:36, closed)

invite them both..
and tell him your fiance is religious (whether she be or not) and stipulate something like men aren't allowed to drink at weddings!
(Brucey bow chika wa wow, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:12, closed)

Talk to your aunt.
Tell her that you're only going to invite her, and tell her why. It might be the kick up the arse that your uncle needs.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:16, closed)

Thanks everyone
This is the reassurance I needed that what I thought I should do is the right thing to do. I figure it has to be better to give her the choice than to just blank both of them....
(sabre-tooth monkey, Thu 12 Nov 2009, 14:22, closed)