Preeteen Crush
When I was a kid I went through a brief, but incredibly confusing phase of wanking off over pictures of Jordan Knight from New Kids On The Block that I found in my sisters' Smash Hits mag.

But that's not what this ones about. No, this is about a strange period when I was twelve when I became absolutely fixated on a very, very, VERY special lady.

Or, to be more precise, a particular photo of this lady I'd found in one of the many annuals someone had bought me for Chirstmas.

She was posed in a slinky little outfit that wouldn't have been out of place in Cabaret. Short mini dress, low cropped top, sparkly sequins, her hair was big and blonde and curly. And the photo showed just a glimpse, just a suggestion, of clevage.

And I was in love.

And I showed my love the only way a twelve year old boy can - I wanked furiously over this picture like a demon everyday when I came home from school.

I'd drop my books off in the hall, say hello to my mum, go upstairs and collect some bogroll, go to my room, open this special book to this special, super-glossy photo, and beat one out.

Then I'd feel ok and able to go back downstairs to watch Grange Hill and have my dinner on a tray.

But my routine was broken one day when I came home, went upstairs, grabbed some andrex (still the finest and strongest cum catcher on the market), went to my room and -

it wasn't there! My annual had gone!

In a foul mood and with my balls dragging between my legs, full of preteen sperm hammering at my testicles so hard it hurt when I walked, I went downstairs and enquired of my mum where my annual had gone.

She glanced up from cooking: "I had to throw it away - two of the pages were stuck together..."

Curses!

"Ohh, ok," I murmered, and disappeared cringing inwardly.

And nothing else was said about that special book, and shortly afterwards I discovered The Sun and never looked back - I mean, they had proper naked boobies in that shitrag. And they had a new fresh pair in there everyday. Horay!

Fastforward to this last Christmas. I'm sat round with my folks and my girlfriend and we're watching TV.

Suddenly my mum pipes up: "Oooh, Spanky - You used to really like her when you were little. Do you remember?"

And it all came crashing back. I'd completely forgotten.

"Ah, that's so sweet," said my girlfriend, Liz, reaching out to hold my hand, my wanking hand, I should add. Thank fuck she didn't pick up on the tone of my mum's voice.

And we carried on watching the TV, as Kermit the Frog performed a duet with the object of my effections, the lovely, the delectible, the downright sexy, Miss Piggy...
( SpankyHanky, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 11:31, 9 replies)

Classic as ever mate...
although the bit that tickled me most was
"...and have my dinner on a tray. "

Not sure why.
(TheColonel, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 11:41, closed)

You must have really wanted to pork her...
Sorry
(Capo, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 11:45, closed)

HeHe
Nothing like a nice bit of bacon when you get home from school - click.
(Lizard King, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 11:47, closed)

I haven't been about here much lately...

and it's good to know you've been as prolific as ever.

Don't ever run out of stories.

*clicks*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Fri 17 Apr 2009, 12:22, closed)

Your
sooooooooooo weird! *clicky*
(Hotty, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 15:02, closed)

Love it
still laughing at that one, thanks!
(Errin C, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 15:14, closed)

HeeHeeHee
*clicks*
(Grrrrr Tigers, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 15:17, closed)

Disturbing child
I hope you've grown out of that phase now. I really do. *clicks*
(Milly One, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 17:15, closed)

fab story as always

( parttimedogfish is a Born-Again Reincarnationist, Fri 17 Apr 2009, 19:08, closed)