I once gave a girl an orgasm using my big toe in the middle of a busy, fairly well-lit restaurant.
It was quite funny watching her pretend not to come. Basically the opposite of faking it. She was doing quite well but a smirk from one of the waiters indicated that we may not have gone totally undetected.

This doesn't really count as acting out a fantasy as it wasn't something I'd really thought about before, but it was kind of cool.
( Mr. Tea 'ulmmm'/'mmneurgh', Thu 20 Feb 2014, 12:59, 1 reply)

I've always fantasized about a threesome with an Asian lad and a Bengal tiger

... I'm Pi-Curious

gets coat
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 11:58, 1 reply)

Homoerotic confusion.
For some reason I used to fantasize about being Aladdin's (Disney) friend. Then a little later I think I fancied/fantasized about the lad out of the heap of shit film 'jungle 2 jungle'.

I intended to finish this post by remarking how absurd it all was as I'm now completely hetero but thinking about it I bet cock isn't that bad.
(mustardtiger108, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 10:43, 5 replies)

All ruined - threesomes
thanks
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 9:52, Reply)

Ok, so far this QOTW has pretty much been about threesomes.
Unfortunately I won't be changing the running theme here.

So I was 16 nearly 17 and was having an evening of underage drinking at a family friends house. So there is me and two of my mates and family friend (who had lady parts)we will call Shirley and her friend who we can call Ethel.

Now tbh I would have banged either of them I was desperate to shed my V-plates. Now I had always been the gentleman, alas it never paid off. However this one time. Fuck me it did.

So I am balls deep in Ethel, V-plates are well and truly out the window, and the plan was that Shirley would bang one of said friends. Now the door slams open and in walks Shirley moaning about how both of my mates are chundering and comatose in the other room. "You could always join in with us!"

No quicker than the words had left my mouth, her knickers hit the floor and she climbed in the bed. Now that gents, is being thrown in at the deep end.

tl;dr Lost virginity in a threesome.
(bumless The man with the hole in the middle, Thu 20 Feb 2014, 9:30, 4 replies)

Coming and going
When I was in school there was a girl with sleek dark hair and a slim, tight gymnast's body. She wore painted on jeans and when she stood at attention there was a V at her crotch that the light came through like a semaphore from the god of carnality.

I dreamed of coitus, me standing and her with her arms around my neck and her legs clasped around my back.

Never happened, but many years later I did try the standing up bit with a much heavier girl. I got about three thrusts in before stumbling and crashing to the floor.

She had this massive bruise on her hip where she hit the chair.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 21:40, 6 replies)

My knickers are red and they have podka dots on:)

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 17:58, 34 replies)

Roses are tits
Violets are tits
I love tits
Tits
(arch_crippledick, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 16:37, 3 replies)

Roses are red
Carnations are pink
I once done a lady
Right up the stink
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 13:22, 11 replies)

I acted mine out in miniature by tying a ping pong ball to my bell end with a length of cotton and dressing both hands up in doll's clothes
then with the aid of two tiny tennis rackets attempted a game of Erection Swingball.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 19 Feb 2014, 0:48, 3 replies)

Fantasies? Pfft.
Soon I'll have no need for fantasies. My dreams will become reality through the power of my self as I wholeheartedly embrace a 360 degree lifestyle change. I will implement a forward facing day to day ideology which will thrust forward my career, self esteem, social life and sex life to newer and higher levels of fulfillment. I will begin to conquer all my wants and needs and grow outwards into the best version of myself I can be.

I will no longer have the time or need for fantasies as I will be making my desires into my new reality.

This potential to self-actualize is something that lies within us all. You must only make yourself willing to progress and then take the steps necessary to unlock that self-actualisation then you can stop adapting to society and start being you! I've addressed the first step in my hierarchy of needs. From only £6,990 you too could effect a real change in your life and become the owner of a new, used Honda Accord from Big John at Karelia Cars, Driffield Road, Market Weighton.
(danishbacon is haram yes?, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 22:51, 8 replies)

I played
PC wobbly hides his helmet with the missus while the cat watched, licked it's anus, and disappeared to do whatever cats do.
It's about as close as I'm ever likely to get to a threesome.
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 22:29, Reply)

I used to have this really vivid fantasy...
I really wanted to thrill the knickers off my young, under aged female cousin with my world class driving skills, before knocking out a policeman with one punch and getting away scot free because I'm just that fucking special.

Anyway, I no longer see this as a fantasy as by massive coincidence another B3tan did just that, and posted about it in QOTW.

You all took the piss of of him so it doesn't seem that special anymore :(
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 20:20, 11 replies)

Mr. Tea did a sex in me once.
It was rubbish but mercifully brief and painless.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 20:03, 4 replies)

I want to be a cat, one involved in entanglement. Like a kitty with a ball of wool.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 14:54, 3 replies)

The thing about acting out your fantasies is that fantasies are often reliant on other people so you can't always act them out yourself
Like the time I was on stage singing with my band and some young ladies threw their underwear at me. I'd been on stage singing with my band literally tens of times before that happened, it was just that one night I happened to be in front of a crowd that included a couple of young ladies who were sufficiently impressed and liberated enough to divest themselves of their most personal clothing items. That was a fucking great night, but there was virtually nothing that I could have done to "act it out" myself.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 14:31, 13 replies)

Got a very game woman
To do me up the golem tube with a strap-on. It were alright.
(Spamflannel_Tirade, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:17, 14 replies)

YS, YM, & YG.
Awesome.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:37, 16 replies)

Yet another boring threesome tale
When I was at Uni my girlfriend asked me if I would like a threesome. "With two guys or two girls?" I enquired. "Two girls of course" she replied. Get in! I replied that it would interest me and she immediately said that she had found the other girl and that she was up for it, but she didn't want to be penetrated she just wanted a lesbian experience with my girlfriend. Alarm bells should have been ringing but I just thought "No Worries, I'll take the missus whilst she goes down on the other girl"
So girlfriend goes off to arrange this and calls me and tell me to meet her at the Parade bar (not a bad place for a student bar) so off I go and I spot the girlfriend chatting to some guy at the end of the bar (who can't see where this is going?) I go over and am introduced to the other guy, a seemingly nice bloke called Sarah.
Like magic the penny drops. My girlfriend doesn't want a threesome, she wants to experiment with another woman without cheating on me and Sarah just wants to fuck my girlfriend. Due to Sarahs boyish good looks I didn't fancy her in the slightest. I took the girlfriend to one side and told her I didn't really want to have a threesome anymore. She told all her mates that she had offered me a threesome with another girl and I had bottled it because I was scared (leaving out the part about the other girl looking like Peter Pan) I never got another chance at a threesome. Now I'm in my 30's it all just seems like too much hard work. Add that to the tale of my friend who bought in another woman to spice things up and the two women now live happily ever after and he is forever alone, I've really gone off the idea of what was once my fantasy.

TL:DR Yet another "Man gets offered threesome sex but doesn't fancy one of the girls"
( Peej, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 8:38, 4 replies)

I've always dreamt of having a cock as long as a 2 litre bottle of fizzy orange, and just as wide.

Fanta sized, actually.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 7:52, 6 replies)