Zombie-Girl Emetophilia & the Zombie Cock
I consider myself to be something of a new romantic, so after I’d spent an hour or so chatting up this girl (Nikki or Rikki, or something along those lines – I wasn’t planning on writing her fucking biography) in Henry’s Bar in Leeds, I thought it only right and proper to stop off and buy her a nice meal on the way back to her place.

So, one kebab and chips later we’re back in her rundown flat up in Headingly, listening to Morrissey on her shitty little stero, while I attempted to remove her knickers as quickly as possible to get down to the sort of pointless, meaningless drunken intercourse I used to specialise in back in my younger days. I was anxious. Morrissey always makes me fucking anxious. So – no pretenses – I went straight for the kill and started rubbing at her meaty fur burger before she’d even had a chance to sit down.

Then she belched loudly in my face, the hot stream of kebab-and-chili-sauce-flavoured air made my eyes water. Nikki or Rikki apologised and rushed off to what I assumed was her kitchen. I heard the distinct plink plunk of an alkaseltzer in a glass of water. Fuck. Bang goes my chances. But no! She returned! Belching a bit, but she returned! Ahhh, Nikki or Rikki was a real fucking trooper! Thank fuck for Northern girls!

After a bit more background annoyance by the ponce with the daffodil droning on about a dead cat or some other such poptacular ditty, my partner for the night and I moved things over to the bedroom. Stripped, light off (at Nikki or Rikki’s request – personally I like to check where I’m putting my precious one; you know, the usual stuff – unsightly scabs, crawling insects, sores or puss-filled boils), anyway – naked and horny as two drunken fuckers can be, we move over to Nikki or Rikki’s unmade bed and get down to it.

She goes down on me, pulling the duvet over her head – it was bloody cold in her flat. And then she starts what can best be discribed as a purfuctory blow job. But then, suddenly, all that changes – Nikki or Rikki seems to be getting into her stride. The urgency is incredible. She starts to deep throat my proud little soldier and the warmth from her throat is amazing. I reach down and guide her head, oooOOoooohhhHHHHh this feels good! Nikki or Rikki scratches at my chest with her long nails, she makes weird gurgling noises as she slurps away, its hot! It's so damn HOT! What the FUCK is this girl DOING??? And then – far too fucking quickly for my liking – I spurt my load and my work here is done.

Panting, I immediately say: “My God! That’s the best head I’ve ever had in my life! Do you mind if I put the light on for a bit; you know, need a fag and a bit of a rest before I have a crack at your fanny?” I get up, stumble over to the light switch, turn it on. God, I came loads! I can feel it in my pubes and between my thighs, even down to my arse cheeks...

Then I look down, oh fucking ‘ell!!! I look across at Nikki or Rikki lying coyly in bed looking a weird colour green. She looked like an extra from some kind of zombie porn movie. Smeared across her face was a delightful mix of cum, spit and vom. I immediately glanced down at my cock – he too was smeared in this explosion of colourful fluids with added chunky bits. My very own zombie cock.

Nikki or Rikki, wiping the goo from her fringe, said drunkenly: “Sorry, couldn’t stop myself.”

I left shortly afterwards after I’d picked the largest chunks of half digested pita and kebab meat out of my pubes. Weird – still remains the best blowjob I’ve ever head in my life. Who’d have thought I really get off by having a girl vomit all over my cock?
( SpankyHanky, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 10:04, 9 replies)

Euurgh...foul....disgusting....

yet strangely arousing.

Have you ever thought about repeating the performance?


erm...not with me...I mean...I wasn't volunteering or anything...

Oh, who am I kidding, you can vom on my cock anytime you like treacle!

clickety woo!
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Fri 23 Oct 2009, 10:16, closed)

Was a strange night
Disgusting but also strangely arousing - I don't like looking at vom porn or anything... but I have to say that episode made me cum like a fucking horny firehose...
( SpankyHanky, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 10:17, closed)

Good morning everyone, what's on the jolly internet this fine day
Oh look a post from Spanky, how spiffing...ha ha...what? Oh god...oh god nooooooooo!
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 10:26, closed)

Wouldn;'t you have smelt it first?

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Fri 23 Oct 2009, 16:59, closed)

Ehhh ???
Erm - no. That would be the answer to that. Strange question, mate. Strange question...
( SpankyHanky, Fri 23 Oct 2009, 17:16, closed)

Disgustingly compelling
I clicked and now I feel dirty - well done you!
(7777, Sat 24 Oct 2009, 16:13, closed)

Bwahahaha stroke ew
The combination thereof... wow.
(ohnonotagain It's worse than you thought. I'm Canadian., Mon 26 Oct 2009, 3:46, closed)

'Who’d have thought I really get off by having a girl vomit all over my cock?'

To be honest, I'm not hugely surprised...
(Pope Jamiroquai III, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 11:59, closed)

Haha, I'm afraid I'd have to agree mate.
Out of all the b3tans....my money would be on you.
(TheColonel, Mon 26 Oct 2009, 16:04, closed)