Not the first...
... but a worthy little tale I hope. I was aged about 16 when hedge porn was a weekend highlight - (my parents are still convinced me and my mate would cycle the length and breadth of lincolnshire "looking for butterflies"). My parents had just moved house, and one day we cleaned out an old boiler cupboard. Wedged in the back under a cunningly removable floorboard (not near as cunning as mine upstairs tho) were some 1950s porn mags. Most of them showed lots of girls with pointy boobs (why is that?!) playing volleyball and badminton, and had short stories about "smoking reefer" leading to all sorts of debauchery. The debauchery was never described though.

My mum and dad and I, flicked through them and chuckled about the innocence about times gone by as we threw them in the bin.

Later that night, I retrieved them, added them to my own floorboard connection and from then on regularly put them to the use they were originally intended*

GP

*I've grown out my bush, smoke a pipe I and am now quite good at nude, black and white tennis.
( gp_guineapig, Sun 14 Aug 2011, 16:18, 9 replies)

Brilliant detail there! Hollywood must surely be after the rights.
Just wondering, did the women sometimes appear in archery poses and wear little flesh-coloured nylon pants?
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Sun 14 Aug 2011, 16:44, closed)

indeed
archery, picnics, trampolining, a little light housework. All done with a perfect hairdo, beaming smile, torpedo norks and what appeared to be a small furry animal clenched between the thighs.

On similar lines... Remember "Carry on Camping"? with Barbara "get em out for the lads" Windsor. The exercise scene in that movie may have been the first on-screen animated boobage of my young life too.

In researching this reply I stumbled across lots of retro imagery here: (NSFW) sundeck.tumblr.com (NSFW)

While the results may be the same, using the google compared to nosing around under floorboards is just not as fun :-(
( gp_guineapig, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 23:08, closed)

Yeah, what was up with that?
Of all the women I've been with, I have yet to meet one with the banana tits look they used to put in the old porno mags. How did they do that? Why did the torpedo tits suddenly vanish?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 14 Aug 2011, 16:49, closed)

Maybe they went that way
because of the conical bras that were fashionable at the time.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Sun 14 Aug 2011, 18:03, closed)

That would explain the cars of that era...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 14 Aug 2011, 18:05, closed)

There is no way in hell
they thought you were looking for butterflies.
( evil_andy Stick stick stick stick sticky sticky stick stick, Sun 14 Aug 2011, 20:12, closed)

I actually had quite a large collection of mounted butterflies and moths. Nowhere near as extensive and anatomically descriptive as the collection under the floorboards but good enough for a cover story.
( gp_guineapig, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 17:50, closed)

The underwear was different then, 'bullet bras' were worn.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 14 Aug 2011, 20:31, closed)

But what about when they took them off?
Why did they still look like that? They're not plasticine, they're flesh.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Sun 14 Aug 2011, 23:48, closed)