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This is a question First rude thing I ever saw

Our Ginger Fuhrer's young life was scarred by the discovery of an end-of-the-pier 'What The Butler Saw' machine and a jazz mag shoved behind a toilet cistern. Tell us about the first time you realised that there was more to life than sweet shops and Friday night TV

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 11 Aug 2011, 13:07)
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If by 'crapped out his own liver'
you mean wrote in excruciating similies like a retarded child sticking random letter magnets on a fridge while spinning round on a turntable playing at the wrong speed while bouncing on a trampoline in a jelly factory, then yes.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 9:32, 3 replies)
Nice simile.
You just need to add "self-aggrandisement-flavoured jelly" and it'll be perfect.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Tue 16 Aug 2011, 10:13, closed)
Yeah, but it finally caught up with him.
He figured that the amount of throbbing purple prose he could get from crapping out his own liver would surpass any mere poo story most mortals could produce, or even his previous best efforts.

Ironically, it was the sheer excitement at this realisation that caused him to shit internal organs, and he never got to write about it.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 10:59, closed)
Pah, what a lightweight.
He only shat a liver. That guy who coughed out his lung still managed to write about it.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 11:07, closed)
He shat it THROUGH HIS EAR.

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 11:10, closed)
Was it his typing ear?
I DIDN'T THINK SO!
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 11:14, closed)
To be honest
Spanky was top of the board most weeks and at least wrote something vaguely readable unlike most of these one line statement monkeys.
(I helped save b3ta! The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 12:54, closed)
He was.
And actually he could be quite funny. But nowhere near as funny or clever as he clearly thought he was.

Wait...I could be talking about me now...bugger...
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 13:20, closed)
A mere downsy toddler in the face of Frankspencer.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 14:46, closed)
truth

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 15:11, closed)
Also it didn't hurt that he (probably) used sockpuppets to shout down any dissidents, or (certainly) got them banned by running off to the mods.

(I helped save b3ta! The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 19:29, closed)
Did he?
I missed about 18 months of B3ta. Who did he get banned?
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 16 Aug 2011, 19:56, closed)
I got threatened with a ban from the mods
Because I said his story about his mate getting a dildo slammed up his arse by someone opening a door was bollocks.
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 16:46, closed)
Well that's charming.
How petty of him.

I have to say I had him down as being self aware enough to know that we knew he was making those stories up most of the time. I quite enjoyed some of them on that basis.
(I helped save b3ta! scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 17 Aug 2011, 17:33, closed)

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