After 10 days on a drip recovering from Pneumonia
when I was nine, my appetite was pretty much shot. I simply didn't feel hungry. I was so exhausted from being ill, food had no appeal whatsoever.

A nice nurse and my mum pleaded with me to eat *something*, *anything* and rattled off a list of exciting food they could make. At some point the words "Jam Sandwich" were mentioned. Fireworks went off in my sick-addled brain as vague food memories stirred. Yes! I remember those. They were nice. The nice nurse excitedly rushed off to make me one. She'd clearly broken through with this patient and was doing her job well.

Back came the sandwich. It was fucking rank.
( chthonic, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 17:14, 6 replies)

* dated joke about how a BUPA nurse would have given you a sandwich AND a handjob *

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 17:18, closed)

Thank christ I was on a NHS ward
Can you imagine how mortifying that'd be at the age of 9 IN FRONT OF YOUR MOTHER?
( chthonic, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 17:23, closed)

I'm imagining as hard as I possibly can.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 18:47, closed)

Hey, that joke is from the seventies.
Wanking off a child, whilst his mother watches, only seems terrible in retrospect.

Excuse me, your honour? Yes, that is my defence.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 9:36, closed)

Some savages add butter (or marge if poor) to jam sandwiches
Literally worse than Hitler.
(McChinaman banned, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 17:21, closed)

It's not a buttie if it doesn't have butter.
Are you some sort of vegan squeamish food Nancy?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 18:48, closed)