Cheesy Vegemite Scrolls.
*For all you derprived pommie and Atlantic Cousin saddos - vegemite is the fucking God of Kings' fud.*

You'll kneed -
a sheet of frozen puff pastry.
About a tablespoon of vegemite.
Some cheese (a small handful of grated) - I suggest a strong, bitey cheddar mixed with some mozzarella to temper the ched.

You need too -
heat oven, line a tray with baking paper.
Wait until pasty is defrosted.
Smear vegemite over pastry covering all but a 10mm strip on 1 side.
Sprinkle cheese mix evenly over the top. Press down.
Roll pastry from the end opposite the unadulterated strip. Put some water on your finger and coat the strip. Roll quite tightly onto the pure, virginal strip.
Cut 12mm rounds using a santoku knife so it doesn't stick.
Place rounds cut side down onto the baking paper.
Bake in the oven for 10-15 min or until the pastry in brown or until the cheesy vegemite mix has bubbled up looking for all the world like your kid's meconium.
Turn off oven (shouldn't have to say this but... b3ta), remove tray from oven (tea towel or oven-mitt may alleviate burning here), allow scrolls to cool, if you can wait.
Munch happily.
EDIT: Any spelling/grammar mistakes are best fwded to shambo.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 2 Jul 2013, 8:40, 46 replies)

Vegemite pffft
it's a rank imitation of the mighty Marmite
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 8:58, closed)

Martite I have never tasted.
Marmite on the other hand is clearly boot polish that poms found another use for.
EDIT: Nice ninja edit.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 2 Jul 2013, 9:09, closed)

see my sig ;)
you Australians are of course famous for your excellent taste your beer

piss or

horse piss
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 9:18, closed)

I challenge you to find an actual Australian that actually drinks
Fourex or Fosters.

Seeing as neither has on tap at any pub I've visited (in Australia) in a very, very, very, very, very looooong time.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 2 Jul 2013, 9:27, closed)

"xxxx is the biggest selling beer in Australia accounting for one in eight litres sold"

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 9:31, closed)

Also Victoria Bitter is fucking grim, and they drink it in halves.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 9:33, closed)

I'm pretty certain you wouldn't be legally allowed to call VB a beer in any civilised nation.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 9:41, closed)

On the plus side: tarantulas, crocodiles and poisonous snakes.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 9:51, closed)

The whining fatastrophe will be asking you for citations for the existence of poisonous critters in a minute.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 10:28, closed)

I'm afraid I do have to agree with you about VB.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 2 Jul 2013, 12:13, closed)

I'm afraid I do have to agree with you about VB.
Then again you've never had Coopers so you probably don't know what a real beer is like.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 2 Jul 2013, 12:14, closed)

Yes - us Brits are famous for being ale-shy.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 13:26, closed)

I've had Coopers,
and Han Ice, Carlton Cold, all the different Tooheys, West End bitter, and any other number of Australian beer, and they all have one thing in common. They're fucking awful.

So, I put it to you that a nation that claims to love beer, yet has never managed to produce one that is even remotely drinkable, probably can't make something that's nice to spread on toast, either.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 13:48, closed)

fuck you, mate
most pommy beers like carling are so awful most pubs in england only sell foreign lagers. australia might not mix it with krauts (or any country they invaded) when it comes to beer, but at least we've learned how to make it cold.
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 14:04, closed)

A couple of points
A: Carling is not beer.
B: British beer is served cold.
C: Australians wouldn't know real beer if it came up and gave them a haircut.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 14:11, closed)

There are over a thousand real ale breweries in the UK.
We're only teasing miseryflab here but the fact is that Oz is decades behind in terms of quality and variety of beer. I'm sure you tell one another reassuring tales about warm Carling but the truth is slightly more bitter. Excuse the pun.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 15:04, closed)

Hmm.
Posting about 5 hours after I asked you for proof of your quotes.

No proof and lots of dribbled shit.
If I didn't know better I'd be beginning to suspect that you were being less than honest here shambo.
Oh well, yet another character flaw. It's a pity you haven't got a med. based doctorate - if the RL shambo is anything like the online shambo - you'd be a psychiatrists wet dream.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 2 Jul 2013, 19:02, closed)

Two in the morning. Been on the internet for eighteen hours straight. Still wrong. Still crying.
sniffle blub sniffle boo hoo
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 19:06, closed)

Just got up actually.
Knock a bit of work on the head. Thank you for the link. Finally.

"XXXX Gold dominates Queensland, country NSW and Victoria" - you should read up the history of Fourex. Might tell you why Queenslanders don't like it.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 2 Jul 2013, 19:33, closed)

There's been a link there for ten hours, you dumb cunt.
And you've been posting on the internet from 6am til 2am. Think about that next time you start chortling about other people's online lives, pussycat. And weep like the fatastrophe that you truly are.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 19:35, closed)

You're going to have to do some quick ninja editing there shambo -
careful tho - visual proof that you're a liar never looks good.

And no, I woke up at about 0145. It's ok tho - I'd put y book aside and drifted off by about 2100.
Cheers.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 2 Jul 2013, 19:51, closed)

Larger it's okay on a hot day BUT
it all tastes the bloody same

Cider & proper beer is were it's at.

It's a bit of a double edged sword tho' sometimes you try one that tastes like dirty washing up water that has been strained through a tramps trousers but rather that than Carling anyday ;)
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 15:11, closed)

You tried Han Ice, Carlton Cold, all the different Tooheys, West End bitter, etc.

Edenmonster were you purposefully trying to taste the worst beers in the country? Next time ask a (non-bogan) local which beer to drink, it won't be any of the ones you just mentioned
(w0lf, Wed 3 Jul 2013, 5:59, closed)

Sauce?
Not that I expect a straight answer from you. But..
I question the veracity (& age) of the source of your information.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 2 Jul 2013, 9:49, closed)

this proves things beyond all doubt
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 10:05, closed)

nielsen 2012
 
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 10:26, closed)

Link pls.
You know. For proof and what not.
It shouldn't be hard if you've already got those specific quotes.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 2 Jul 2013, 11:00, closed)

Bless. You're genuinely distressed that the top three selling beers in Oz are piss.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 11:10, closed)

I'm still not seeing a link or any proof.
As someone who supposedly has had to do a lot of research in order to write a thesis you seem very reticent to actually provide some small amount of proof for the 2 "quotes" you provided above.
Despite me asking for it more than once.

Smooth redirect btw. If I didn't know better I'd think you were trying to avoid providing a link.
But then why would you be disingenuous Shambo. Surely you, of all people have absolutely nothing to hide.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 2 Jul 2013, 12:08, closed)

"fosters is now marketed locally as Carlton and accounts for 10% of beer sold in Australia"

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 9:34, closed)

Sauce?
Not that I expect a straight answer from you. But..
I question the veracity (& age) of the source of your information.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 2 Jul 2013, 9:52, closed)

Interesting.
From someone who claims to have a doctorate.
I would've expected something more empirical than a couple of pairs of "quotes".

Nvm, it doesn't mean I think any less of you shambo.
And SD did a good job of defending you with his youtube link to "I love Horses".
You should totes commend him on that.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 2 Jul 2013, 10:12, closed)

and you're responsible for this cunt

(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 9:23, closed)

Image name gave me nothing
and I'm not a big daytime tv fan.

Sorry SD.
*At least it's not Curtis Stone or Bender*
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 2 Jul 2013, 9:41, closed)

no you sent the cunt over here
that why you don't know who he is

*blusters*
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 9:59, closed)

He's from NZ

(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 15:29, closed)

no he isn't
Torode was born in Australia and was brought up in Maitland, New South Wales

and he's a cunt
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 15:44, closed)

hmm
ur right, I apologise, should google it next time..
(bROKEN aRROW PUA HVI Master, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 15:53, closed)

Excellent concluding paragraph here A* would read again.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 17:00, closed)

You lost my attention at "Cheesy vegemite"

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 8:59, closed)

Scroll, Vag. Scroll.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 2 Jul 2013, 9:07, closed)

I have an absolutely enormous screen.
I don't need to scroll.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 9:21, closed)

It's around 00:29 on Wednesday morning in Sydney, and now I'm hungry and ready to cook that.

As they say these day, omnomnomnomnom or similar.

Or "yum" as we non-retarded Antipodeans say.

Thanks, mate!
(EffinNitWit asks his tobacco where his whisky is, Tue 2 Jul 2013, 15:30, closed)

No worries.
Jam and or peanut butter apparently works for the kids.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Tue 2 Jul 2013, 21:22, closed)