Hard Cakes!!!!
I used to work for a certain (no longer existing) car credit company with the annoying advert with a rather fit looking young lady dressed in yellow and green.

As you can imagine it was not the busiest of offices due to the reputation (thanks to the BBC). So it was pranks ahoy in there.

One Saturday afternoon it dorned on us that pretty much everyone in the office was suffering from paranoia, checking their phones for boot polich or hair gel, making sure we had not filled the heater fans in their cars with the contents of all whole punchers in the office and switched them to "on" so that when they started the car up the whole car was filled with this ever lasting white covering.

So it was decisded that we were to target the "other staff", by this we meant the valleters. As you can imagine these were not the sharpest tools in the box, but we knoew they were up for a laff and would not take things too personally.

However we decided to up the anti with this plan.

One of us (he did not tell us the reason why he had this) had a stash of Viagra gel in his car. So we decided to (as normal on a saturday) get the cakes in for the afternoon. One of which we decided was to be an exceedingly good apple pie. This was great to disguise the viagra gel.

So we got hold of one of those mix your own colour paint syringes and pumped the pie full of vigra gel, knowing that only half was enough to keep you "up" all night.

passed the cakes round like usualand there were of course 2 left for the valeters, knowing one of them was a little bit weird and sleazy at times we made sure that he ate the apple pie.

A little over an hour later this valeter came into the office wearing the longest duffle coat he could find and he was beetroot red and looked like he was about to have a heart attack.

Trying to hold our faces straght we asked if was ok, it turned out that in the vlet office there was a stash of selected top shelf mags that were "read" during lunch and the vlaeter thought that it was gods way of punnishing him for being filthy as he was looking at the mags that lunch and the consequences were still around for all to see the next morning when he came in to open up.

I don't think he ever went near a fiesta or an escort ever again.

Length?

I could not bear to look but the girls in the office said was nothing to shout about!!
(ingus mcfly to heaven for the weather and hell for the company, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 11:44, 9 replies)

This post was difficult to read
I suggest not typing so fast, and use punctuation where appropriate.
(Stu Moo winner of five nobble piece prizes, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 16:00, closed)

^This.
Are you drunk?
( Moey, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 17:07, closed)

??
why u say am i drunk
(ingus mcfly to heaven for the weather and hell for the company, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 20:35, closed)

english ............
language lesson in disguise?

Have i stumbled upon a secret guild of teachers of the english language?
(ingus mcfly to heaven for the weather and hell for the company, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 20:36, closed)

Welcome to B3ta!
It's "dawned", not "dorned". Just a free service.

And I agree with the post below - viagra is dangerous to people with low blood pressure or heart conditions. On my stag night my friends were planning to spike my drinks with Viagra. Luckily I got wind of this before and warned them not to - my blood pressure is 90/60 which is looooowwwwwwww, so it wouldn't have done me much good!
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 16:36, closed)

Ebarrasment
probably spelled wrong too but hey.

The reason the guy looked like this was cos he was a sleazy guy who was trying to save his dignity and also was hot in the long coat!!

The Gel Viagra ain't very strong anyway, less you are looking at top shelf mags I guess
(ingus mcfly to heaven for the weather and hell for the company, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 16:41, closed)

Ah,
missed the word "gel" in your post, my mistake!
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 16:57, closed)

\/1@6®&
'looked like he was about to have a heart attack', possibly because he was.
(Benzyl, Tue 23 Sep 2008, 16:36, closed)

Punched holes
I have this image in my head now of some poor person starting up their car and being covered in little white bits of paper like a snowstorm.

... Ok it appeals to me
( VandenPlas can't think of anything clever - no change there!, Wed 24 Sep 2008, 22:42, closed)