I found, like, money and shit
Working in teams of 3 per floor in a local hotel, we would each be expected to strip, change and clean anything up to 30 rooms in 5 hours. Now what with this being rather a cheap hotel near the port, you would often open up rooms on a Sunday morning to the unmistakeable smell of alcohol, vomit or both. The trick to easing this olfactory assault would be to have one person run ahead and open up all the rooms to give them an airing.

Now I learnt early on that this was a good way to nab the tips left by customers before the others got there, and so I would always volunteer to do it. You'd usually find a couple of quid a day in the summer - it paid for a sausage roll and a can of coke at least.

So one Sunday morning I'm going down the corridor opening up the rooms and I get to one room and stop dead. On the table was 50, I shit you not, 50 quid in change. Now as you can imagine, 50 quid in change is a vast amount of money, physically speaking. There is no way anyone could have left the room and left it there by accident - it must have been a tip. I felt a bit guilty about taking it all (that and I could only get so much in my pockets without it looking obvious), so I took £29 of it, stuffed it in my bag and split the rest of it (or all of it according to the others) £7 each. Incidentally if you think ill of me for this, I was at uni and surviving on a toilet cleaner's wage. That and I worked with cunts.

So I go back to rejoin my colleagues and we all go about our work feeling much happier for our newfound wealth. Then we get to the room I found the money in. Upon cleaning it, we also found the following:

- 8 condoms in the bin, 3 of them shitty.
- Hardcore gay porn mag under the left hand pillow.
- Straight hardcore porn mag under the right hand pillow.
- Piss all over the bathroom floor.
- Shit stains on the bed.
- A perfectly circular pool of chunky vomit in the bath.
- And to cap it all off, and how this was possible I have no idea, a whole shit UNDER the bed.

In retrospect, they should have tipped more.
(GONEism, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 20:35, 6 replies)

Ew!
And once again ew!
( girlinthehole, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 20:46, closed)

Eww, icky.

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Thu 6 Nov 2008, 21:00, closed)

I hope you checked those coins carefully...
... in fear of what they may have been subjected to.
(dxg, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 21:49, closed)

How did you not work it out?
Nobody would have left a tip like that unless they'd left the room in a similar state to one your customer did. Frankly I would of expected a dead, deflowered 8 year old in the bath after seeing 50 quid left as a little extra.
(chrisdood Why yes, I am the shizzle, Thu 6 Nov 2008, 23:44, closed)

Alternatively...
...it could be the payment left for the rent-boy.
(EffinDoubt is breaking glass on, Fri 7 Nov 2008, 9:01, closed)

Did you minutly
examine all the contents of the bin?

Only 3 shitty ones?

LOL

*clicks*
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 11 Nov 2008, 17:47, closed)