Pron
Aroundabout the age of 13, I was a bit of a budding Paul Raymond with my very own, if small, porn empire.

There were two sources of my material:
my stepfather's rubbish pit*
shoplifting

The pit was a good source of rare and exotic publications but one couldn't gaurantee that on a given day there would be anything to be had. One day, out of desperation, I was lurking in the bushes when the skip lorry came along, I noticed that the driver, my step-uncle, put down a magazine before walking around the other side of the truck to operate the tipping mechanism. "Bound to be porn" thinks I. I ran out of the bush, grabbed the magazine and scampered back into my thorny den with that months copy of Men Only in my hand.

Shoplifting was obviously higher risk but something that one could do during the lunch hour and make £5 per sale. Easy money. We often operated in a small group so that we could have a look out, maybe have someone distract the easily spotted big, fat, ginger store detective bird by walking round and round the aisles with a choccy bar before putting it back. Not difficult to hypnotise a fat ginger munt with a 200g bar of Dairy Milk.

Once back at school, no problem finding some repressed geeky kid willing to fork out a weeks worth of lunch money for a weeks worth of wank fodder. A fondest memory is of one such boy who bought from me just before a chemistry lesson. Inside the lesson, the class arse (and also one of my accomplices) grassed him to the teacher "Sir, Clugh's got a dirty magazine in his bag!". The bag was searched, the offending item confiscated.

As luck would have it, I had a detention that very evening with that very chemistry teacher. I was given the task of "tidy the lab" while he went off for a cup of carrot juice or something, well he was a vegan and probably a few other things beginning with "v". So into his office snuck I and popped the jazz mag into my bag.

Result I think.

*if you're looking to make real money and you enjoy driving diggers, buy a field, dig a big hole in it, sell the earth/sand/gravel that came out of the hole then charge people to dump rubbish in the hole.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Fri 1 Aug 2008, 15:35, 3 replies)

Buy a field, dig a hole then charge people to dump rubbish in the hole.
Otherwise known as a landfill site, something which requires an outrageously large amount of paperwork and which you then take responsibility for making sure it doesn't pollute the surrounding area forever.

It is not a good way to make money unless you are a large well established waste management company.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 1 Aug 2008, 16:23, closed)

yeah well
I guess the lily-livered yoghurt knitters have tightened up the rules, probably have to put wheelchair access in too...
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Fri 1 Aug 2008, 16:37, closed)

Dig out the hole
Get people to pay to fill it up again

Then trap the produced waste gasses and burn them to produce power- or bottle them to help power your home.

!!!Profit!!!
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:40, closed)