Listen To This One
You open a company called the Arse Tickler's Faggots Fan Club. You take out an advert in the back page of some gay mag, advertising the latest in arse-intruding dildos, you sell it with, I dunno, "does what no other dildo can do until now", "the latest and greatest in sexual technology", "guaranteed results or your money back", all that bollocks.

Now these dils cost twenty-five quid a pop - as a snip for the amount of pleasure they're gonna give the recipients. But they send their cheques to the other company name, nothing offensive, er, Bobbie's Bits or something, for twenty-five quid. You take that twenty-five quid, you stick it in the bank until it clears.

Now this is the smart bit - you send back the cheque for twenty-five pound from the other company name, "Arse Tickler's Faggots Fan Club", saying we're sorry, we couldn't get the supplies from America because they ran out of stock.

Now you see how many people cash that cheque - not a single soul, because who wants their bank manager to know they tickle arse when they're not paying cheques?
( Cunny Funt Statistically, 9 out of 10 People Enjoy Gang Rape, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 14:58, 10 replies)

Bin dun.
.
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 15:00, closed)

Bindun
Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels?
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 15:00, closed)

ahhh
well i hope i explained mine with more conviction. fair play to the bugger who got in first.
( Cunny Funt Statistically, 9 out of 10 People Enjoy Gang Rape, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 15:01, closed)

heheh
Interesting concept. Have you tried this yourself?
(Miggyman, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 15:02, closed)

Well played
To the person that got it first, second and quite possibly third too.
( Weejock, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 15:02, closed)

more conviction?
more ripped straight off from the lock stock script perhaps?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 15:09, closed)

yes
theres that aswell
( Cunny Funt Statistically, 9 out of 10 People Enjoy Gang Rape, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 15:15, closed)

Myself...
... I really want to try it, it seems flawless. Even when I was a wee nippersnapper and heard those immortal lines on Lock Stock I thought one day this concept will serve me well. I'm still waiting for me to get enough gaul to pull it off. But one day! One day...
(Lex scripta, Tue 5 Aug 2008, 20:29, closed)

^What Vipros said
This is pretty much word for word on the other two of these posts I've read
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 6 Aug 2008, 11:40, closed)

I know it's bindun

But the whole 'scam' is essentially flawed

1) I've not met many gay men who wouldn't walk around a shopping mall wearing a t shirt that said "I *heart* sucking cocks" or similar

2) Lets say he's in the closet, if I were that closeted gay I'd use the envelope deposit or the post

lets face it unless the cashier was your wife/girlfriend/brother/you get the picture, is it going to matter? Would you actually care if some random stranger thought you liked a big dildo up your bum? Would the random stranger really care too hoots?

the answer is no, we would all cash the cheque

Edit and anotherthing..

how much do you think an add costs in a mag? (I've just placed a job add in a local paper in a little panel and it cost loads)

it would have to look good too with a nice logo & a photo or nobody will part (as it were) with any cash your looking at £1000's so in order to get rich you'll need over say at least 80 shrinking violets just to break even

[/pedant]
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 6 Aug 2008, 13:13, closed)