Dinosaurs and the Ark
I used to work for a firm owned by two born again Christians who had a positive discrimination policy. For every godless heathen they employed they took on a workshy bastard member of their church.

As we worked as couriers we used to start early in the morning and finish late in the evening but we had three or four hours around lunch between finishing our deliveries and starting our collections. Luckily for me, my house was on the edge of my patch so I could go home at lunchtime. The christian in the adjoining patch lived too far away to go home so I suggested he stop by my house where my wife would make us both lunch. In the nine months that he ate my food I learned a few things:

It didn't matter that I freely gave him food and shelter and that he was a tightfisted utter bastard who would rip you off as soon as look at you, come the Judgement I was fucked and he was saved. Actions didn't count, believing did.

The best thing he ever told me was why there were dinosaurs in the fossil record:
"Before the flood the bible says that the waters were held above the earth. This obviously means that God made the sea float over everyone's head. One of the properties of water is that it cuts out ultra violet rays and everyone know that ultra violet rays are what age you. Now lizards continue to grow throughout their lives and with no UV to age them they got really big. Come the flood all but two of each were wiped out and after the flood the water was no longer up there acting as a giant filter so the lizards that came off the ark aged and died before they could get as big as there were in the antediluvian days."

I admired him for his tortured logic. All that reasoning when logic had led me to believe that the World wasn't created in six days and things had evolved.
(bald old git was bemused and befuddled on, Fri 20 Mar 2009, 16:18, 2 replies)

That's actually quite creative.
Sheer lunacy though, of course.
( 100% Cock Raw like carrots., Fri 20 Mar 2009, 17:13, closed)

yeah...
i've only ever heard that weird and wonderful theory once before - from my grade 9 RE teacher at a non-denominational christian school i was sent to (resulting in me being rather atheistic in outlook).
Apparently there was no rain prior to the flood, nor rainbows, due to specious reasoning as you describe so well above (which leads to why god's promise in the form of a rainbow to do his crazy act again was such a big deal).
Apparently the plants got their watering by the general 100% humidity resulting from this mass of water floating overhead. WTF! Again, WTF! ps. this same man made the rather eloquent argument that catholics aren't christian but rather idolators - i guess that's not so much a strange belief, just an example of christian intolerance
( Tiffany Aching 's bowl of oatmeal tried to stare her down and won, Sat 21 Mar 2009, 9:10, closed)