Because you'd have handed in
a photo of yourself naked, holding a melon with the words 'Yours for a fiver' scrawled across it in excrement?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 17:11, 1 reply)

I don't do scat.
I would have used a marker pen.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 17:12, closed)

a marker pen menstrual blood.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 17:15, closed)

Maybe.
I'm mid-cycle now though and horny as hell. The idea of being naked with a melon is almost too much to bear. I wonder if the greengrocer's is still open?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 17:17, closed)

*disguises himself as a melon*
*cantelupes*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 17:19, closed)

mmmm
*honeydews*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 17:20, closed)

*warms up in the microwave*
Oh no! My CHCB has exploded all over my kitchen, and her bits are everywhere!

*licks*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 17:24, closed)

from
a menstrous napkin.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 17:34, closed)