I had a job in a posh restaurant once.
One day this rather portly gentleman walked in, and the manager called us to one side and warned us not to show any amusement at his size - he was known throughout the area to be a well-paying customer, although a lttle curt, and one would not tolerate any cheek.

To cut a long story short, the gentleman in question ended up sampling virtually everything on the menu, and we the staff were becoming seriously converned about his health. He was pretty disgusting, too - food all dribbling down his front. We wondered whether he was even going to be able to remove his vast bulk from the chair, he seemed to have swelled in size so much due to his large meal.

However, we didn't have to worry about his leaving: a small after-dinner mint proved to be his undoing. Ultimately the customer met a rather unfortunate end due to his greed - I think that there's a lesson there for all of us.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 19 Apr 2011, 23:47, 14 replies)

The lesson is thus:
Never trust waiters.
(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Wed 20 Apr 2011, 0:14, closed)

A waaaafer-thin mint?

(McChinaman banned, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 1:49, closed)

I believe it was
a wafffffer thin mint.
(username failed moderation, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 9:48, closed)

Is the lesson that strained references to Monty Python are never ever funny?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 8:02, closed)

^ winner!

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 9:22, closed)

Yay!
Wait ... did I just win the horrid bully award?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 9:29, closed)

no, Mungo, never kill a customer
Good job you didn't tell him about the dirty knife.
(f_rev, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:33, closed)

Monty Python is never funny.

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:23, closed)

It's that his heart is still beating after he explodes.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 10:33, closed)

I wanted to write this one for this qotw
so got you on the first line. This is one of my favourite Monty Python scenes (that I can remember)
(maggotriddendirtbox fast, feral and sharp as a tack since, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 11:45, closed)

What's your favourite scene that you can't remember?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 12:19, closed)

that one with the two guys who did that thing wot I can't remember
How I larfed
(maggotriddendirtbox fast, feral and sharp as a tack since, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 12:22, closed)

WHAT NONE OF YOU SEEN THE 'AND OF GOD BEFOWAH?!

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 20 Apr 2011, 13:20, closed)

can't remember

(maggotriddendirtbox fast, feral and sharp as a tack since, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 0:10, closed)