I'm Bored..
.
So I'll tell you about how gullible I was. I believed, pretty much like every teenage boy, that were were magic chat-up lines. All you had to do was to trot-out one of the mgic lines and your were in like Flynn.

So I tried it.

I went up to a nubile young thing at a party and growled..

"You've lips like petals....."

She blushed and giggled.. Fuck me, it was working.

"Bicycle petals...."


Never did get the hang of those chat-up lines...

Cheers

Thenk you very much - I'll be under the pier all week....

( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 14:00, 16 replies)

mine works.
walk up to a nice-looking guy, point at his face and say "is anyone sitting there?"
works for me every time!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 14:12, closed)

If
I tried that, the guy would kick me in the nuts....
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 14:20, closed)

@Smashmonkey
OMG! Why have I never tried that one.
( girlinthehole, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 14:21, closed)

yeah
but he'd do it with love :)
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 14:21, closed)

@bgb
it's a great line, i got 3 of my last 4 boyfs from that line!
also, more free drinks and snogs than you could shake a very large stick at!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 14:22, closed)

When I was a single fella
One that always worked for me was to catch a girlys eye, stroll over and casually say

"10 ton polar bear"

Wait for the quizical look and follow up with

"now thats the ice broken, Hi, I'm RadG fancy a drink?"

A bit cheesy I know, but for some reason it virtually never failed. Odd really.
( RadG Drinking Mojitos in the sun, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 14:38, closed)

@RadG
.
Tried that.

Spied a pretty girl. Wanders over and says:

"That walls just fallen over"

Girl looks at me quizicly...

"Now that the ice has been broken, Hi I'm Legless an............"

"Fuck off. I've heard about you"


I can't win...

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 14:42, closed)

There was also
The one my big brother told me was a sure fire winner.

Sidle up to the girl of your dreams and whisper

"Tickle your hole with a feather?" into her ear.

get slapped

Then say

"what was that for, I only said "typical weather"

And ride to victory on the apologies and sympathy.

He was a lying shit. I got 7 shades of hell slapped out of me for weeks with nary even a fumbling grope to show for it until I stopped using that one!
( RadG Drinking Mojitos in the sun, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 14:48, closed)

hahahahaha!
can't imagine why that one didn't work!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 14:50, closed)

Lol Smash
You ain't kidding :)

I'm just waiting for the

"Big Brothers/Sisters are sadistic bastards/Bitches who spent years torturing us both physically and mentally. Tell us the horribly amusing stories of your humiliations at the hands of your evil older siblings" QOTW, to spill the beans on my devil brother !
( RadG Drinking Mojitos in the sun, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 14:54, closed)

Chat up lines?
Excuse me do you sleep on your stomach?
No.
Well, do you mind if I do?

Never has a good response, you always need a good insult to follow it up with to grab back some credibility!
(Dangerous Disco Trev Isn't my real name, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 15:04, closed)

Haha
Could always try the "It might look like a needle, but it works like a sewing machine" one...

Your likely to get laughed at though :)
(Scobro is still here..., Mon 25 Aug 2008, 15:19, closed)

radg
god, if that one came up, i'd have about 4 pages to myself! my older brother HATES me, always has done!
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 15:38, closed)

How about.....

I might not have a massive cock but I've got 14 stone to shove it in with.
( Stu71 ....bad money dies, I love the scene, Mon 25 Aug 2008, 17:10, closed)

Lips like petals?
She'd better get her tulips around this then.
*points at cock*
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 10:07, closed)

What's better than roses on a piano?
Tulips on an organ...

/coat
( snee held his breath since, Tue 26 Aug 2008, 15:14, closed)