sleeping
i cannot sleep if any bit of me - feet, hands, anything - is hanging over the edge of the bed. i always think something awful is going to snarl up out of the dark and bite it clean off and have to wriggle around until everything is safely ensconced on the mattress. i've always been like this, just can't seem to snap out of the habit.

a few years ago i was moaning about it to my mother and she told me that when i was tiny she would come in to check on me in bed and would pounce on any stray rogue feet etc. they fuck you up your mum and dad...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 5 Jul 2010, 23:43, 9 replies)

Aw man
I always sleep with a leg out of the bed. I have to. I can't sleep fully covered up in duvet and blankets.

WE'RE LIKE OPPOSITES.
( Blue Star was working part time at the 5 and Dime, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 0:04, closed)

but... but...
something might BITE IT RIGHT OFF! careful there woman.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 0:08, closed)

I did this for years and years, ever since I read a newspaper article about a 10 year old boy who had heart surgery. For some reason I thought he was in my room after I turned the lights off. I don't know why I was scared of him. I was only about 6 though.

I had to hide my entire body under the duvet though and face the wall so if he came in he'd see just the duvet and think the bed's empty and go away.
(MikeyNiv can coin snatch 32 pennies, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 0:37, closed)

Its not that something will bite them off...its that massive razorblades will shoot up from the floor, straight up the sides of the bed, and guillotine your sorry limbs. FACT
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 2:48, closed)

Just as well you're a girl
We men have an extra bit which can hang out of the bed.

To be fair, I'd need to be sleeping fairly close to the edge, but still...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 8:15, closed)

They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.
(Vice Admiral Sir Charles Cockbrush KCB MBE DSO, who is finding it increasingly difficult to log into b3ta.com wants to duck your aunt and kick your puppy, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 8:58, closed)

I'm fine with it usually
Except on holiday. Spanish flies are a bitch.

Bzzzz... lands on leg.
Twitch.
Bzzzz... lands on arm.
Swat.
Bzzzz... lands on leg.
Twitch, withdraw leg to underneath covers, accidentally leave a toe out.
Bzzzz... lands on toe.
GODDAMMIT! *twitch, withdraw toe*
Bzzzz... lands on nose.
Hide under covers.
(Cloudane, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 9:21, closed)

I had the unfortunate experience of having a cockroach crawl across my face whilst asleep on holiday in Spain when I was 14. After I woke up it flew directly at me and I had to bat it away with a pillow. I told my dad who got the night vision out on the camcorder and proceeded to squash it with a shoe.

The next night I was in bed and saw the cockroach's best friend fall out those holes in the wardrobe that act like ventilation. He got the shoe treatment too.
(MikeyNiv can coin snatch 32 pennies, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 14:10, closed)

Snap! sort of...
I had (have) the same thing. When I was small I had the most lovely cat in the world called Topsy. She was so protective of her midget humans (tin openers of the future) she used to stand guard over us children while we slept, presumably to stop any stray seagulls from abducting us or something. Anyway, somehow I convinced myself she turned into a huge tiger whenever the lights were out, and if any part of my feet was sticking out of the bed she'd tear them off. I'd also lay perfectly still whenever she was in my bedroom as to not tempt fate. Even stranger, I loved Topsy during the day, but at night it was a game of cat and mouse with tigers and feet. And terror.

Fast forward to the present, I'm six foot nine and I simply don't fit in any beds, but still HAVE to have my feet covered by duvet. I'll fall asleep with my legs bent to hide the tiger bait, wake up every morning with feet stuck out the end and panic slightly. It takes a few seconds to reassure myself that there's no tiger. And that I'm an adult and should grow up.
(ElectricSexPants would like to be the Sultan of something, Tue 6 Jul 2010, 11:08, closed)