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This is a question Heckles

Forget the drunk bloke at the back yelling incoherent nonsense. Sometimes a well placed heckle can raise a mediocre act to a brilliant night out.
Tell us your best heckles and, if you are brave, the retorts that put you back in your place like the maggot you are.

(, Thu 6 Apr 2006, 13:13)
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Not mine. A friend of mine went to a Comedy club in Birmingham somewhere.
A drunk bloke at the front kept interrupting the stand-up turn who was apparently rather good, but the constant stream of interruption was obviously riling the comic. Eventually he stops in the middle of a joke and makes a big announcement.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the average penis is 6 inches long. The average vagina can take up to 7.5 inches. So, for every woman in the world, there is 1.5 extra inches of capacity. Now, let's say that half of the world's population is women. Combined, that means that there is spare cunt of over one and a half million miles."

Pointing to the heckler, he finishes "and there's 5 foot 2 of it sitting over there".

There is a modest laugh, and then the heckler comes back with his riposte -"I'm 5 foot 8 actually".

To which the comic delivers the coup de grace - "Well, you're an even bigger cunt than I thought then".
(, Thu 6 Apr 2006, 13:27, Reply)

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