HecklesForget the drunk bloke at the back yelling incoherent nonsense. Sometimes a well placed heckle can raise a mediocre act to a brilliant night out.
Tell us your best heckles and, if you are brave, the retorts that put you back in your place like the maggot you are.
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chthonic, Thu 6 Apr 2006, 13:13)
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I love heckling meGot a few heckle stories ... here are the best ones.
1. Was at a comedy night in london, sat near the front so got picked on. Comedian asked where I was from, "Cheltenham" I replied, then he goes on and on about being posh etc etc. Anyway he moves on to talking about toilet paper, then whilst barking on about the quality of andrex, 1ply, 2ply etc etc he is looking directly at me then asks me "but what do you do when you stick your fingers through the paper when wiping yer arse?" - I calmly replied, "never happens, my bulter wipes my bottom for me!" - he was quite impressed.
2. was in canada on holiday, when to local bar for a comedy night. This short, dumpy american starts his act whining on about how he is diabetic, only got kidney etc etc. Of course, there's nothing more amusing than other peoples misfortunes so I'm finding this quite funny - much to his disgust. So he asks me why i'm taking the piss, again handed on a plate "i'm not taking the piss - your Dialysis machine does that for you" - baddum tissh!
Of course, laughing at my own joke i then shout - "ooops, there goes another kidney". Hecklers can be so cruel.
3. comedian is going on about beggars and charity collectors - brandishing them as bad. He then asks if anybody in the audience has recently given to charity, and if so which one. Someone shouts out "yeah - to the blind" - again couldn't resist shouting "I bet they didn't see a penny of it" - old one I know but it fits.
Apologies for length etc etc
(, Thu 6 Apr 2006, 16:25, Reply)
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