My mate Stan
Imagine Gordon Ramsey Cross bred with Brian Blessed. Stan worked as a chef in Blackpool, and during the season used to only get the odd day off. When he did get a day off, his employer would pay for some entertainment for him and his wife. the quality of some of this entertainment could be a bit random. One week the tickets just happened to be for Cannon and Ball. Now Stan was not that keen, but his wife said that they really shouldn't be unapreciative, so they went. Now Stan is a very large man with a very small Bladder, and made the mistake of having a couple of pints to make the evening tolerable. When he went in he found that unfortunately they had seats on the front row. Ten minutes into the act stan needs to empty his bladder, as he walked out, the one of Cannon and Ball who thinks he's funny went BADUM BADUM BADUM as stan left to go to the toilets. and he got the same treatment as he went back. this did not impress Stan. ten minutes later he had the same problem, and got the same treatment. On his third trip to the toilet, he got the same treatment on the way out,BADUM BADUM BADUM. so on the way back when he reached the middle of the stage he suddenly turned right onto the stage, grabbed the 'comedian' by both ears, and licked him from the tip of the nose, to the top of his head. then went back and sat down, having one stunned to silence comedian, and an Audience that was pissing themselves.

He got no more grief at all that night.
(ceebs, Thu 6 Apr 2006, 20:04, Reply)