HecklesForget the drunk bloke at the back yelling incoherent nonsense. Sometimes a well placed heckle can raise a mediocre act to a brilliant night out.
Tell us your best heckles and, if you are brave, the retorts that put you back in your place like the maggot you are.
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chthonic, Thu 6 Apr 2006, 13:13)
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Red Card Comedy Club, 2005A London based comedian (Micky Flanagan - reviews here www.chortle.co.uk/comics/comics.html?http&&&www.chortle.co.uk/comics/mflanagan.html) was visiting our town, and began taking the piss out of one of our group, who looks a bit like Jesus. "Oy, Jesus, where's yer kaftan?" he said.
I felt duty bound to intervene after noticing his buttons weren't done up correctly, and the conversation went thus:
DP: How can you laugh at his appearance when you can't even do your buttons up, you scruffy twat.
COM: Oh, sorry Mr Fashion. I'm not wearing a tie either, does that offend you?
DP: No, you just look like a fucking oik.
COM: Ooooooh! Where are you from?
DP: Sheffield.
COM: (hesitates) Got any cutlery on you?
DP: (raising two fingers) Yes. Fork off.
I felt very proud, until I discovered he'd ended his set 20 minutes early following the abuse the rest of our table gave him for not making mincemeat of me.
I saw him again 3 weeks later, and he was excellent.
(
disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Fri 7 Apr 2006, 12:15,
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