HecklesForget the drunk bloke at the back yelling incoherent nonsense. Sometimes a well placed heckle can raise a mediocre act to a brilliant night out.
Tell us your best heckles and, if you are brave, the retorts that put you back in your place like the maggot you are.
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chthonic, Thu 6 Apr 2006, 13:13)
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Old Enough to Know Better (2)A caravan holiday park in Weymouth. The Saturday night entertainment. A well-known ventriloquist and children's act. 'Make sure you get a table down the front' says Mrs Rabbits. So off set I, with junior Rabbit at 6 o'clock to the ballroom. Right at the front in the middle - perfect.
Now I'm not a bingo man so the next couple of hours were fairly boring apart from the fact that the bar was open. When Mrs Rabbit and very junior but very excited Miss Rabbit turn up at 8, I am wankered on Stella and the 11 year old son is whizzing his tits off on Red Bull. Never mind, we have the cabaret to look forward to.
As the artiste and his puppet launch on to the stage he does the immortal cry of 'Good Evening, Weymouth!!'. There was of course total apathy to this. So to compound matters he does it again. 'I said Good Evening Weymouth - what do you say?'. Apparently I shouted 'GET OFF YOU FAT TALENTLESS CUNT'.
There was just a slight pause as the heckle registered. And then, with true professionalism, he launched into his act.
Mind you, the duck looked really upset.
(, Fri 7 Apr 2006, 15:32, Reply)
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