Not my rapier-like wit, I'm afraid, but...
A mate of mine, we'll call him Dave, attended a wedding last year - the full hearts, flowers, churchy-bollocks meringue-frocked caboodle. At the end of the wedding breakfast, the traditional ting-ting-ting of a champagne glass sounded and the speeches commenced.

The father of the bride was first up, to a clattering of applause as he had recently had a heart attack and was only just out of hospital. A fairly standard speech followed, although Dave was fidgeting from the start - the booze had run out on his table.

Ten minutes in, FoB is reaching the climax of his speech and it's all getting a bit emotional.

FoB: And I just want to say... I've never seen Laura look more beautiful than today (rapt sighs)... or happier (applause)...and to think... to think I might not have been here this day... (respectful silence)... to see my beautiful girl..(FoB wells up, long pause)...gulp...

Dave: (loudly, in bored irritable tone)YeeeeeeeeeSSSS?

FoB wisely wound the speech up swiftly.

Mind you, that's not the worst thing Dave did at that wedding. In the church a huge photo of the happy couple had been put up to allow friends and family to write their messages of love and goodwill on it. One crudely-drawn enormous spunking cock later...
( weebear1974 discovering the joy of cat rape since, Fri 7 Apr 2006, 17:20, Reply)