HecklesForget the drunk bloke at the back yelling incoherent nonsense. Sometimes a well placed heckle can raise a mediocre act to a brilliant night out.
Tell us your best heckles and, if you are brave, the retorts that put you back in your place like the maggot you are.
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chthonic, Thu 6 Apr 2006, 13:13)
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Not exactly a heckle, but that isn't stopping anyone else....I used to be taught English by a formidable Irish lady. She couldn't pronounce 'th' and would say 't' instead. She also lost her temper with anyone who appeared slow on the uptake.
So in a crowded lecture theatre we'd ask, 'Which book of Paradise Lost are we on? The second?'
And she'd answer, 'De turd!'
So we'd say, 'Yes, that's it! The second!' to make her say 'No, de turd! De TURD!' and we'd try to keep a straight face.
You could vary the question as long as the answer included 'third', so you could ask what the date was and then contradict her, or, my favourite, ask her what that famous Irish book about bicycles was - the Second Policeman? The Fourth Policeman?
She'd go red in the face at your stupidity and jabber 'Turd! Turd! Turd!' at you.
For three years we took the piss every week and she lost her temper every time and never cottoned on. Top entertainment.
(, Mon 10 Apr 2006, 19:44, Reply)
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