Kiss
I like Kiss (the band) but never realised until I saw them live what a dick Paul Stanley is. It's the "Reunion in Make-Up Let's Squeeze The Fans Dry" tour at Donington, and they are headlining.

I've had a few.

Paul Stanley is seriously pissing me off with this endless stream of bullshit between songs until we get "Y'know, ever since Kiss started we've wanted to come to Donington to kick your ass!"

What a load of bollocks, so here comes the heckle,

"Crap, Kiss formed in the early 70s and Donington didn't start until the late 70s, so you are talking utter shite Stanley."

Nice one. Factually correct and I'm sure if he'd heard me he would have agreed. But he didn't. The lass in front did.

"Would you mind shutting up, I've driven up from Bournemouth to see them and you are spoiling it for me!"

"Who's going to make me?"

Enter big boyfriend, six foot fifteen, twenty stone, muscles on his teeth... you get the idea.

"Me. Now shut the fuck up or I'll smack you."

I'd like to say that I got the first punch in, floored the guy and ended up taking his girlfriend in the bushes for a quick shag, but ever the coward I did what he asked.

It is then you find out who your mates are, as one of our lot, Dom, started to drop comments like "Kiss are shit" and "Paul Stanley is a wanker", all the time Musclehead kept giving me the evil eye.

I was going to die. Watching Kiss. My last memory was going to be Paul Stanley. I did the honourable thing and legged it, causing me to miss the encore "Detroit Rock City".

Never went to a gig with Dom again.
(Julian Coped, Mon 10 Apr 2006, 22:46, Reply)