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This is a question Heckles II

It was my privilege the other month to see a particularly foul and abusive heckler literally chased out of a comedy club by enraged punters. So: Comedy nights, staff meetings, football matches. Tell us of epic or rubbish heckles.

(, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 14:36)
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Shitclown. Shitclown.

Wake. Shock. Mirror. Is that me. That is me. Shitclown. Shitclown. Grab bottle. Drink. Drink gulp swallow gulp gasp surging bliss relief. Pain. Pain below. Deep sharp in guts. Again. This again. Run. Run to toilet. Sit and shit. Diarrhoea everywhere. Splashing the walls. Bare feet wet. Shit, Shitclown, SHIT! All you can do now. Shitclown. Shitclown.

You can't even cry anymore. Shitclown.

Big top. Empty. Dark. A cavernous space. Stand, Shitclown, and remember. Remember the laughter. Remember the laughter and applause that came after. Now? Now? NOW?! NOW?

Nothing now. Nothing. Drink. Shit. Drink. Shit. Shitclown. Drink. Shit.

Die. PLEASE soon. PLEASE soon. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE soon. Oh please.

But and suddenly but but there... here... *she* is. Sparkling spangles glitter, silver tiara princess, alabaster unicorn. Above you she rides, Shitclown. So high above. Does she see you?

No. Once, she glanced at you, then looked away. It was enough. Enough to make you love.

Now? Nothing now.

Back to the van. Smell of shit. But plenty bottles. So drink. Drink Shitclown drink.

Cos you are shit, Shitclown. Shit. And soon you will be dead.

(, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 19:52, 12 replies)

(, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 21:43, closed)
hopefully this is the type of breakdown that culminates in suicide

(, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 21:49, closed)
First ever Dr Skagra post that I bothered to read all the way through, A+++, would read again if he's resuscitated before brain death
(, Fri 13 Jun 2014, 23:59, closed)
Ooh thanks Sweetie
but it's SHE, as I am a girl!

(, Sat 14 Jun 2014, 9:02, closed)
Praise be
* rapturous applause *
(, Sat 14 Jun 2014, 7:36, closed)
Die. PLEASE soon. PLEASE soon. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE soon. Oh please.

(, Sat 14 Jun 2014, 8:34, closed)
this is a massive improvement
granted I only read the first two lines
(, Sat 14 Jun 2014, 8:52, closed)
Been tehre
done that


(Cue Beefy...)
(, Sat 14 Jun 2014, 9:03, closed)
next week put some pooplops in it for Swipey and your larfing.

(, Sat 14 Jun 2014, 9:34, closed)
You are the drunk bakers out of Viz.
(, Sat 14 Jun 2014, 15:11, closed)
I dont understand a word of that Sweetie!

Perhaps YOU are a drunk baker?!

(, Sat 14 Jun 2014, 18:36, closed)
this will win

(, Sun 15 Jun 2014, 23:50, closed)

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