Gummy Mummy
Remember that time when you could have sex with school girls and not be thought a pedo, you know, before you crossed the line from teen to twenties, mmmmmmmmmmmmmm……………….

Sorry,

Anyway, back at that time when I had a delightful, soft skinned, perky breasted year 12 student, and being the mighty stud I was with over 15000 fucks to my name, and 3 of them weren’t even in the solo class, I found that her ability for knob gobbling was just not up to that standard I had come imagine. Being the sensitive 19 year old male, drunk on his own testosterone, I fucking told her so, and left her in no doubt that she either shape up or it was out on your arse. Of course not really knowing what I was talking about I couldn’t provide any instruction on what I liked or give her tips on what needed to improve (in fact despite endless informal research of blow jobs via porn films in the proceeding years, I hadn’t even figured that the girls spit on the love wand as more moisture the better, but, my naivety is story for another day).

A few days later we met up for a night of sophisticated activity (she came to my place to watch telly and drink cheap wine) which culminated in heading to the bed room for a bit horizontal folk dancing, started with the most mind bending session of dirtying her knees. Of course I wanted to know how in the space of 3 days she had developed such skills that would get a golf ball through 9 yards of hosepipe, and she told me she had asked someone who pointed her in the right direction. I was too pleased with the process to ask more questions.

The following night we had dinner her at her place. Her Dad was working but, her old girl was home. I didn’t quite know how to respond when her mum asked me directly if I had any further issue with her daughter’s “dick sucking methods”.

As soon as I had my girl her on her own, I asked what the fuck she had said to her mum.

Apparently after my ultimatum she had a sit down with her mum and dad.
She had asked if they knew about sucking cocks, which apparently they did.


She had asked “what Dad liked” ,


and her mum had showed her.


With a carrot.

If the old girl hadn’t been a 120kg, ugly as fuck, Scottish harpy I might have had a crack at the master considering the action of the student.

Still explains why her old man smiled vacantly a lot.

Length, 8 inch girth and 13 inches long, fucking huge carrot.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 15:22, 14 replies)

Oh.
Dear.
God.

That is all.
( Maladicta, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 15:41, closed)

Awesome!
Shame there was no opportunity to harpoon the whale, though...
(RVD420 has his world coming down on, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 17:36, closed)

Ick!
and click.
( The Helpful Bear, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 17:46, closed)

I read the whole of this
thinking you had were talking about a 12 year old student.
(Cuthbert Annihilator, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 17:49, closed)

And when you realised it was an 18 year old
your erection subsided.
(Seance Trumpet has got no beef with a man enjoying a croissant, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 22:37, closed)

Yeah right
Then you got off the bus
(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 17:57, closed)

^^easy now... ban porkies and there would be nothing left to read this week

( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 20:06, closed)

I'm pretty sure I saw this in the letters page of Razzle in 1986

(bogus official shove it up your cunt, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 21:49, closed)

or on the side of a pyramid
in hieroglyphs
( spimf ™ is whoever you want him to be, Mon 14 Sep 2009, 0:20, closed)

I don't even know what a Razzel is
and Spimf you always say that about my tales.

This one is 100% GENUINE creative writing - God I hope I am not subconsciously channeling old jokes now, it was bad enough when I knew I was doing it.
(bad_advice QOTW survivor from the first trollocost!, Mon 14 Sep 2009, 1:24, closed)

Shit, I hope you don't write for a living.
The guy who writes for the letters page of 'Razzle' will be suing for plagarism.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 14 Sep 2009, 7:05, closed)

Oh man.
This is going STRAIGHT INTO The Archive.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 18:13, closed)

This could have come from the 'letters' page of a certain tabloid

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Sun 13 Sep 2009, 23:41, closed)