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This is a question Helicopter Parents

Back when young ScaryDuck worked in the Dole office rather than simply queuing in it, he had to deal with a claimant brought in by his mum. She did all the talking. He was 40 years old.

Have you had to deal with over-protective parents? Get your Dad to tell us all about it.

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 15:13)
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Gummy Mummy
Remember that time when you could have sex with school girls and not be thought a pedo, you know, before you crossed the line from teen to twenties, mmmmmmmmmmmmmm……………….


Anyway, back at that time when I had a delightful, soft skinned, perky breasted year 12 student, and being the mighty stud I was with over 15000 fucks to my name, and 3 of them weren’t even in the solo class, I found that her ability for knob gobbling was just not up to that standard I had come imagine. Being the sensitive 19 year old male, drunk on his own testosterone, I fucking told her so, and left her in no doubt that she either shape up or it was out on your arse. Of course not really knowing what I was talking about I couldn’t provide any instruction on what I liked or give her tips on what needed to improve (in fact despite endless informal research of blow jobs via porn films in the proceeding years, I hadn’t even figured that the girls spit on the love wand as more moisture the better, but, my naivety is story for another day).

A few days later we met up for a night of sophisticated activity (she came to my place to watch telly and drink cheap wine) which culminated in heading to the bed room for a bit horizontal folk dancing, started with the most mind bending session of dirtying her knees. Of course I wanted to know how in the space of 3 days she had developed such skills that would get a golf ball through 9 yards of hosepipe, and she told me she had asked someone who pointed her in the right direction. I was too pleased with the process to ask more questions.

The following night we had dinner her at her place. Her Dad was working but, her old girl was home. I didn’t quite know how to respond when her mum asked me directly if I had any further issue with her daughter’s “dick sucking methods”.

As soon as I had my girl her on her own, I asked what the fuck she had said to her mum.

Apparently after my ultimatum she had a sit down with her mum and dad.
She had asked if they knew about sucking cocks, which apparently they did.

She had asked “what Dad liked” ,

and her mum had showed her.

With a carrot.

If the old girl hadn’t been a 120kg, ugly as fuck, Scottish harpy I might have had a crack at the master considering the action of the student.

Still explains why her old man smiled vacantly a lot.

Length, 8 inch girth and 13 inches long, fucking huge carrot.
(, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 15:22, 14 replies)

That is all.
(, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 15:41, closed)
Shame there was no opportunity to harpoon the whale, though...
(, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 17:36, closed)
and click.
(, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 17:46, closed)
I read the whole of this
thinking you had were talking about a 12 year old student.
(, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 17:49, closed)
And when you realised it was an 18 year old
your erection subsided.
(, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 22:37, closed)
Yeah right
Then you got off the bus
(, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 17:57, closed)
^^easy now... ban porkies and there would be nothing left to read this week

(, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 20:06, closed)
I'm pretty sure I saw this in the letters page of Razzle in 1986

(, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 21:49, closed)
or on the side of a pyramid
in hieroglyphs
(, Mon 14 Sep 2009, 0:20, closed)
I don't even know what a Razzel is
and Spimf you always say that about my tales.

This one is 100% GENUINE creative writing - God I hope I am not subconsciously channeling old jokes now, it was bad enough when I knew I was doing it.
(, Mon 14 Sep 2009, 1:24, closed)
Shit, I hope you don't write for a living.
The guy who writes for the letters page of 'Razzle' will be suing for plagarism.
(, Mon 14 Sep 2009, 7:05, closed)
Oh man.
This is going STRAIGHT INTO The Archive.
(, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 18:13, closed)
This could have come from the 'letters' page of a certain tabloid

(, Sun 13 Sep 2009, 23:41, closed)

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