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This is a question Helicopter Parents

Back when young ScaryDuck worked in the Dole office rather than simply queuing in it, he had to deal with a claimant brought in by his mum. She did all the talking. He was 40 years old.

Have you had to deal with over-protective parents? Get your Dad to tell us all about it.

(, Thu 10 Sep 2009, 15:13)
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In all seriousness this is becoming a real issue, and kids today ARE becoming more spoilt, expectant, and surly because of it.
I blame the hippies. "Won't SOMEBODY think of the CHILDREN?!" "It's my right" "A miracle straight from heaven" "No one touches my child" "She's the most precious thing in the world to me" "He's my boy and I'm going to give him the best start in life"

No one denies parental love is one of the most powerful feelings in the world, but really - they need to be able to make their own mistakes, and also TO LEARN THEIR PLACE IS AT THE BOTTOM OF THE LADDER.

You don't expect the new kid at school to be given the same shrift as the most popular, do you?

You don't expect the new guy at work to immdiately be your mate?

Society works on levels of position, gained by experience, understanding, and skill. As a kid, teenager, young adult, you are at the bottom. Make your way up of course, but just 'cos your mum told you you're special doesn't make it so.

And ... breathe ...
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 12:56, 57 replies)
I bet you think that the media has a 'lefty agenda' too.

(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:07, closed)
Do point out where I'm wrong.

(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:11, closed)
I've only got an hour for lunch.
Calm down Littlejohn.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:12, closed)
Yay for insult in lieu of a point
Seriously - there IS a difference with kids today not having any respect. I've even seen kids expressing this opinion.

But by all means, put on some more petuli oil, Starchild.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:15, closed)
Seriously.
You're blaming this on hippies?
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:17, closed)
They're the ones that broke open the perfectly workable previous system.
I do think that there needs to be a radical rethink of how children are perceived of in Western society, and whether or not they should be encouraged to think of themselves so highly, as I don't think it does anyone - them included - any good.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:19, closed)
This is woolier thinking than anything coming from any hippy.
Perhaps you weren't beaten enough as a child.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:22, closed)
Sorry - you don't seem to have explained how it's woolly.
I mean, unless you're simply resorting to "You're stewpid!", in which case, fine.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:24, closed)
Other than 'I blame the hippies' you're not really expanding your theory.
You should have been beaten more as a child, you're clearly very lazy and unsure of your place here.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:26, closed)
Yes I have.
I've said that kids have a place in society lower on the rungs than adults.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:37, closed)
Someone's got a boss younger than them.

(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:39, closed)
I'm one of them.
He's not a little shit.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:42, closed)
yay
sensible person
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:07, closed)
Are you one of those people who posts stuff like 'wel don richard litteljohn you should be pm' on the Mail's forums?

(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:18, closed)
Damn right. Bloody new kids at school, they come over here, take your popularity...

(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:15, closed)
Hahahaha
Yeah - little shits.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:21, closed)
Just out of interest
Explain to me how a young adult starting out in a job (say) necessarily has any less skill or understanding than someone who has been doing the same job 30 years?

which leaves only "experience". Which is fairly fucking overrated as a job skill, often meaning as it does "ability to take the laziest route possible and get away with it"

Your argument has more flaws than a laminate factory.

Out of interest, are you also saying that people should command respect for being older, too? Because if so, way to go, people should definitely command respect for managing not to die for a few more years longer than someone else.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:19, closed)
I think someone who's been doing the job for 30 years will have - well
30 years more understanding and experience than the, er ... "young adult" starting out, yes.

And if experience and understanding is so overrated, why do so many places use mentoring and apprenticeships?

And yes - I think age should be taught to automatically command respect until proven otherwise. You may like to consult your grandmother on this one.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:23, closed)
My grandmother is so riddled with alzheimer's she's almost as daft as you.
Respect has to be earned.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:26, closed)
only - and this is the crucial point
if the job hasn't changed in 30 years. Otherwise the youngster starting will probably have learned more up-to-date and relevant techniques. For instance.

And mentoring - which I do - is because in SOME situations experience helps. But not in all, and it certainly doesn't mean that the person being mentored is somehow some lower form of life, which is the approach you are advocating.

And, yeah, OK, I'll ask my surviving grandmother if you like, but I can tell you for nowt she'll argue very strongly that my skills, qualifications and the importance of my research to society in general count at least as highly in the respect stakes as her 95 years on the planet.

Everybody has the right to EQUAL respect unless they demonstrate otherwise. Age doesn't matter. I know as many kids that I massively respect as I do retarded, racist, bigoted OAPs who I wouldn't piss on if they were on fire.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:31, closed)
No I'm not saying a lower form of life.
This is the key that the little ones are getting upset about.

I'm just saying they're lower on the ladder. Just as new employees are lower than the managers, are on probation and have to prove themselves.

I would love a new employee to accuse their boss of like totally disrespectin dem and dey ain't gonna take dat cos nobody disrespex me like and expect to still be employed after 30 seconds of doing so.

No. You earn respect. Not expect it.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:36, closed)
But the Boss gets to demand respect?
You're talking balls. Unless a boss treats a new employee, or any employee, respectfully then they're breaking the law.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:43, closed)
Yes ...
I never claimed anything else.

Maybe I'm totally wrong. I believe time will tell.

And if I am proved right, and I start laughing spontaneously in the face of lots of kids on the dole, please - forgive me.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:45, closed)
Believe me, if you carry that attitude with you in your life and your career
you'll be seeing those kids on the dole sooner than you expect.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:50, closed)
Well then
At least my job will be safe!
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:58, closed)
You see, anyone who assumes that I am 'below them on the ladder'
because I am younger them, or because they consider me their 'inferior' in the workplace, really isn't worthy of my respect.

In other words, you're talking complete and utter bollocks.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:49, closed)
I didn't ever mention inferiority.

(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:57, closed)
Really? Because your entire post heavily implied that anyone younger than you, newer than you, or less experienced than you
was somehow 'inferior'. Look at the language you've used - 'lower on the ladder', 'at the bottom', 'below you on the social ladder'. You sound like a pompous prig who has never been able to command the respect of his peers so now demands it from those who he sees as 'beneath' him.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 14:06, closed)
Ah.
You'll find much perceived "implication" to be entirely subjective.

For example, I imagine you're not the sort of person that happily ignores their own assumptioious bigotry while pointing it out in others without any sense of the overbearingly obvious irony in doing so.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 14:09, closed)
Oh no, I notice it.
I have this little thing known as 'self awareness'. You should try it sometime.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 14:16, closed)
Oh right - sorry - I thought you were being serious.

(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 14:36, closed)
No. you don't.
You start off with respect. You earn more or less respect depending on how you behave after that.

For instance, thinking that someone younger than you or less senior than you is in any way below you is massively fucking disrespectful, and if any of my staff had behaved like that towards less senior members of my group I would have sacked them on the fucking spot. So I'd say you're very lucky you've never worked for me.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:53, closed)
I've never suggested seeing the young as below me as in any way other than on the social ladder.
I've not suggested not extending respect. I've not suggested they are lesser beings.

But you don't expect to be invited 'round to your boss's house for dinner in your first week, do you?

Well - many of the kids now do, yes*.

Which in itself is quite funny.

*contains irony
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 14:00, closed)
actually, I had my last new member of staff round for dinner*
within a couple of weeks of him starting, yes. Because I felt that would be the ideal way to get to know him and his wife. Oh God, maybe I'm giving him too much respect? fucksocks.

*a barbecue strictly, but same thing
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 14:04, closed)
Within a week of meeting my last boss
we were discussing the merits of real ale over perry, and she's staying with me next week as we're off to see Tim Minchin.

Have I committed some terrible social faux pas?
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 14:07, closed)
Well - clearly you're a pushover.
I totally would have cleaned you out.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 14:10, closed)
if you were likely to try something like that
I'd never have been so stupid as to employ you in the first place, though...
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 14:13, closed)
Ahhh ...
But how would you know?

*wins*

CF Leiman (sp?) Bros, the Western financial system as a whole.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 14:19, closed)
I tend to pick things like that up at interview..

(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 14:24, closed)
Hahahaha yeah.
Me too. That's how I always get past.
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 14:27, closed)
Yeah

(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 14:16, closed)
Ace.
My favourite is "I'm not coming in because I heard the printer's broken."
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 14:19, closed)
HIPPY ACCORD

(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:29, closed)
I bet he runs over flowerbeds in it.
'I'LL GIVE YOU FLOWERPOWER, FEEL THE POWER OF JAPANESE ENGINEERING'
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:30, closed)
Whilst I agree with some of your points...
I do think that you have gone over the top. Whilst the young should respect the old, the reverse is true.

I do not want some old person telling me what to do in any facet of my life, just because that's how they've done it. I am free to make uo my own mind, and do what I want to do, without having to respect someone who shows me no respect, by virtue of being born before me.

Life is not one giant private school, everyone is equal, the older kids do not have a right to respect, and I, for one, am not a bummer!
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 13:49, closed)
H
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(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 14:45, closed)
"just 'cos your mum told you you're special doesn't make it so"
unless of course, you are special
(, Tue 15 Sep 2009, 18:52, closed)
Oooh....
...it's like reading Have Your Say or the comments on YouTube, but with better grammar and spelling!

G'wan, someone THROW something and we can really kick off!
(, Wed 16 Sep 2009, 18:01, closed)

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