I hope hell has bike racks
To the cyclist who sped through a red light this morning, narrowly missing me as I correctly waited for the green man, and who shouted 'why do you have to cross the road!?' at me: the answer is 'to get to the other side, dickwad'.

There's a place for him in hell. He'd get there a lot quicker if I could've jammed a stick in his spokes.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:17, 17 replies)

I reckon
That's what happened to the bloke who got thrown from his car into the windows of HOF in Cabot Circus.

Someone at the end of the M32 but a stick in his car-wheel spokes.

If such a thing exist.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:20, closed)

it wasn't me
I was at least 11 miles away when that happened and have a concrete alibi.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:25, closed)

That was impressive
The Dukes of Hazard in Bristol. I hope his car horn played Dixie just like the General Lee.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:35, closed)

Like Colonel Dracula
I'm a mountain biker.

What infuriates is the attitude of the self righteous few that tarnish the rest of us with the same brush.

Especially the ones who ride at you on the pavement.

Mongtards.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:36, closed)

Cyclists
are arrogant little shits, in my experience. Once I chucked a solero at one of um for nearly running me over as he went through a red light and I started walking cuz the green man said I could. Hit the bastard on the back of the head and it trickled stickily down his neck... but, damn, I really wish I still had that solero...
( SpankyHanky, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:23, closed)

Cyclists who believe the rules of the road don't apply to them
should be slowly and painfully tortured to death, or run over repeatedly.

There's even a campaign for cyclists not to have to obey red lights, but I can't find the website. Cunts!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:27, closed)

Bastard cyclists
I think it's a town thing. I live in the country, I have a mountain bike and go out every weekend and I observe the rules of the road and the highway code.

As soon as I drive into a town or city I have cyclists pulling out in front of me on roundabouts and at junctions. Lycra-clad lemmings.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:31, closed)

I agree with the above replies, cyclists really don't do themselves any favours.
I saw 2 cyclists collide in London once: one had gone through a red light and the other one was using the pavement like a cycle lane and was crossing at a pedestrian crossing \o/
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:37, closed)

haha!
I'd have paid to see that. I'd probably have brought popcorn.

(I am a cyclist, but I stop at red lights/don't cycle on pavement etc).
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:45, closed)

it must be said
that 4 other cyclists did stop, and looked bemused at me yelling 'fuck off' to his departing form.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:49, closed)

I'd have cheered you
The image of you being all sweary in the street is one I'll cherish
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:35, closed)

It's not all of us...
I cycle to work almost every morning. Don't use the pavements, don't jump red lights and, most importantly of all, don't insist on cladding myself in lycra... but then I'm not enough of a cunt for that.

The only times I've even come close to crashing are on the couple of occasions when gormless fuckwits decide not to bother looking before they pull out of a junction, despite seemingly watching me cycle past.
( Moey, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:49, closed)

Some fucknut ran into me a while ago.
He was travelling at high speed the wrong way down a one-way street. I had only thought to check the direction where the traffic should have been coming from and stepped into the road only to be met with a sharp pain in the back of the head. Upon staggering to the other side, I saw a dazed cyclist picking himself off the floor. I made sure he was alright and continued to work, leading me to believe, in retrospect, that I may have been mildly concussed because I would normally have shouted at him for being crap.
(ThomsonsPier consumes, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 10:59, closed)

I shouted at one last night too
Who came through the red lights at the same time as doing an illegal right turn opposite Great Portland Street without looking.

That bloody crossing is dangerous enough without twats like that.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 11:46, closed)

They don't seem THAT bad
in Aberdeen. I mean you get the odd one taking up the fast lane down a duel carriageway or trying to kill themselves nipping across the Haudagain, but to be honest a lot of them are quicker and better road-users than some older motorists.

Though in my brief time in London I was hit by one who ran a red light. They really should be required to have a numberplate on the bike or on the rider so that sort of thing can be curtailed.
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 12:08, closed)

As a very keen cyclist myself
I've developed a compulsive habit of shouting "cunt!" at fellow cyclists who jump red lights/scoot over pedestrian crossings. I can't help it. I know one day I'm going to end up with a fingerless glove stuffed in my mouth, or get clocked by an outraged parent... :(
(BaronBiscuits, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 14:08, closed)

Was this
the person who nicked my bike by any chance?

If so, when jamming his spokes, make sure the bike doesn't get too damaged.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 16 Dec 2008, 21:53, closed)