I once strangled my girlfriend.
She was small and, as a disproportionate number of women seem to be, constantly cold. I throw off lots of heat, so her favourite way to sleep was me spooning, with my arm under her head as a pillow.

So one morning, I apparently started pulling my pillow arm in, caging her throat as I did so. By the time she had woken up enough to realize what was happening, she had no air left.

She tried to struggle free, but I was too strong. She tried to say my name to wake me, but she could only gasp weakly. Finally she kicked back with her heel and connected with my shin, waking me instantly.

As I sat up and asked her what was going on, she hissed "Youtriedtochokemeyoubastard!". I had no idea what she was talking about.

She forgave me eventually, but her friends were noticeably cooler towards me once the story got around.
(Ejaculantern was caught desecrating pumpkins on, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 23:48, 3 replies)

Yes, I see what you're doing.
Planting "confessions" online to help your case after you're arrested for murder.
Fuck off.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 21 Jun 2011, 23:50, closed)

Thirteen years
after the fact?

I do enjoy playing the long game.
(Ejaculantern was caught desecrating pumpkins on, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 2:30, closed)

"... once the story got around."?
I'd have dumped the bitch for being a pathetic little attention-whore. Her friends sound like they're best avoided too.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 18:02, closed)

My husband often did that same boa constrictor choke-hold early on in our relationship, but now it's rare. A swift elbow in the ribs usually does the trick.
(Supermonkey, Wed 22 Jun 2011, 23:34, closed)