Losing my appetite...
This is still fresh in my mind, as it happened a mere fortnight ago.

My brother, his wife, and their 6-month-ish-old baby came to my place just after Christmas. Brother and S-i-L are fully paid-up members of the Gina Ford school of babyfascism. Everything must be done to a precise schedule: my brother warned me once that if the schedule was allowed to slip by five minutes, then it might slip again the following day - and then, before you know it, you'd be 15 minutes out. They're also oblivious to anything outside of their babyfascist world.

The doorbell rang. I opened it with a cheery hello to my brother.
"Hello. We need a room with the curtains closed, because [baby] still has 10 minutes left of her sleep. You need to turn the heating on, too. Oh, and don't talk too loudly, either, because we don't want her to wake early."

He hadn't even made it through the door at that point.

I bit my tongue, went to close the curtains in the spare room, and then went to continue cooking lunch. I did - grudgingly - turn the heating on, but made sure it was turned down.

By the time that was ready, baby had had her allotted/ mandated sleep, and been brought downstairs. Her carrycot was perched on a dining-chair near the table. We ate.
"I wonder if [baby] needs her nappy changing," one of the proud parents (I can't remember which) mused. "Better check."

At this point, I'd expected one of them to take the cot upstairs to, say, the bathroom. But no. They plonked her on the floor and changed her nappy right there by the dining table - a table on which there was still food. I think that I might actually still have been eating. In their favour, they were very quick and efficient about it.

But, still. They'd just done a nappy transplant in the dining-room, while the meal was still in progress.

I think it'll be a while before I invite them to lunch again.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 14:54, 12 replies)

I have two kids
and we tried the baby fascist thing but only on feeding (at the wife's insistence). The missus was going to breastfeed our first on a schedule not on demand. Lasted about 6 hours with all three of us pissed off by the time the missus said 'sod it' and popped him on. Its bollox.

We always removed our infants as far as possible away from anywhere where food resided. You may not find the smell of your own kid's effluent objectionable, but everyone else does.
(mersault, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 15:01, closed)

In fairness, I can sort of understand wanting to keep something like a vague schedule.
But the to-the-minute extreme to which it can be taken is just ridiculous. My brother actually rang me to tell me that it would be unacceptable to serve lunch before about 2 o'clock, because their arrival had to coincide with the baby's sleep pattern.

FUCK OFF. SHE CAN'T TELL THE TIME YET.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 15:18, closed)

I remain convinced that schedules for babies are for the benefit of the parents struggling to maintain control of their lives.
I'm following the lazy parenting path which mostly involves going with the flow and choosing the path of least resistance.

Nappy changing is definitely best done in a bathroom though. Or the front seat of a Ford Ka while out walking with b3tans in deepest Somerset. Wookiee is still traumatised, I think.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 15:25, closed)

Hell, yeah.
I think it's probably exacerbated by the fact that both parents are in the forces, and so have quite a scheduley lifestyle anyway. My friend V, who dropped a sprog at about the same time, takes things more your way. She's no more tired or stressed.

Oh, the coda to the story is that they didn't put the old nappy in the bin. I found it later in my paper recycling box. They'd obviously just figured that any container that held stuff plainly for disposal would do the trick.

Your kid OK?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 15:40, closed)

She's great, thanks.
We've just started giving her bits of food to feed herself. Hours of fun and far easier than spoon-feeding her purée would be, though less amusing when I eventually get round to picking fingers of carrots, pear and toast off the floor.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 15:59, closed)

Just leave her strapped in to the highchair
She can eat the bits of food off the tray right in front of her, and at that age they don't have much of a throwing arm so you've only got a 3-4ft radius to clean up around the chair.
My little one is only 11 months at the moment, but my wife runs a home daycare for the extra cash and to avoid paying the 1200$ a month for daycare if she goes back to work.
The home daycare was an eye opener on how very different some people raise their children. From the "don't let her nap during the day no matter how tired she is because otherwise I'll have to spend time with her when I get home from work as she won't go to sleep right away" (I'm paraphrasing of course) and "we're trying to potty train her at the moment, so we let her run around without undies or a diaper. if you make her wear them at the daycare it'll undo all our progress" parents to the "if she's tired she'll lay down and nap, if she's hungry she'll ask for food, but try to keep it breakfast-snack-lunch-snack and don't feed her right before we show up as we eat when we get home, and she's already potty trained so no worries" ones.
Don't really know where I'm going with any of this except to say I've got a wee-one (and a baby, fnarr) as well! Yay.
(Turtlenuts, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 18:54, closed)

Buy a £3 shower curtain from poundstretcher etc, and plonk the high chair on that.... solves all those food throwing problems.
(Shadayim ..............., Fri 7 Jan 2011, 10:25, closed)

My two cents
Me and the lady started a feeding and sleeping routine fairly early with our little one (she's 7 months now), and it's worked beautifully for all of us. It hasn't been a "struggle to maintain control of our lives" – it just means we're all well rested and well fed at the same time.

I'm with you on the nappy thing.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 12:54, closed)

We're well rested and well fed too.
Happy days all round, eh?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 10 Jan 2011, 9:13, closed)

Babies will sleep when tired, eat when hungry, shit when . . . they need to shit. And cry when tired, hungry, shitting, after shitting, bored, cold . . . . . etc etc
(Bitter and Twisted, Thu 6 Jan 2011, 23:55, closed)

My sister did this once...
and the kid was quite big and mid-change decided to crawl off across the dining table with her bum in the air and my sister still trying to clean it and then rub cream on it. After my sister had wrestled the nappy onto my niece, she returned to eating without washing her hands and genuinely could not see what was wrong with it!
(floella, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 0:07, closed)

Eccch!
Dirty sod!
( eXOBeX, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 18:04, closed)