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This is a question Housemates

Catch21 says "I go out of my way to make life hell for my shitty middle-class housemates who go running to the landlord every time I break wind". Weird housemates are the gift that keep on giving - tell us about yours.

(, Thu 26 Feb 2009, 13:28)
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We were a bit grubby...
The flat in which I lived between 1998 and 2001 had a fluctuating list of tenants - Richard and I were there the whole time, but others (such as Si and Paul) came and went.

David, one of the last people to join our band, arrived in the autumn of 2000. It was mid-afternoon when he and his family turned up with a couple of car-loads of stuff. We introduced ourselves, showed them his room, offered tea, and got out of the way.

The hoover went on. Now, the flat was a bit grotty, because it was old and hadn't been decorated since Genesis. But, albeit down-at-heal, the place was at least tolerably clean. Still, wanting to give a room the once-over isn't that unusual.

But the hoover stayed on.

I went for a run, and when I got back an hour later, it was still on. The room wasn't big. It should have taken about two minutes to give it the most coprehensive vacuuming ever - not two hours. Odd.

Eventually, the extended family left. David carried on with the cleaning. By now he was scrubbing the windowsill.

And he cleaned his room late into the night. When he'd finished that, he turned his attention to the rest of the flat.

For the next few days, there was not a single surface in the communal areas that was not cleaned. By this, I don't just mean that he showed a bottle of Flash to the admittedly greasy hob. I mean he took out the oven, and mopped under it. I got in one evening to find him on his knees, scrubbing the skirting-board in the hall with a nailbrush. On another occasion, he was to be found cleaning the wires from which the lightbulbs hung.

After a week, everything sparkled. It was wonderful - but the rest of us were beginning to wonder whether living with David might turn out to be a chore. This was, after all, odd behaviour.

But - no. David put our minds at rest. He called his routine nesting. What this meant was that he had a horror of other people's dirt. But once he'd cleaned the place completely, he had no problems about it getting dirty again. He just wanted to know whence the dirt came...
(, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 11:28, 11 replies)
Ha!
There's nothing quite like living in your own filth. Its homely...
(, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 11:33, closed)
Do you still know him?

As I wouldn't mind him coming to stay for a bit...
(, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 11:51, closed)
Sadly, no.
Not seen him since 2001. Can't even remember his surname.
(, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 11:57, closed)
I don't understand why you think this is odd.
Doesn't everybody deep clean a house when they first move in?
I'm serious.
(, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 12:08, closed)

deep clean have a nice wank in
(, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 12:12, closed)
That comes after.
Literally.
(, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 12:13, closed)
Not to the extent of polishing the light-fittings
I just employed some builders to put the roof back up. After that, everthing needed cleaning anyway.
(, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 12:35, closed)
yes to the extent
of polishing the light fittings. Frankly, I'd find it odd if people didn't. Surely you want to start from a sterile base?
(, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 13:07, closed)
I spray dettol over everything
if it turns black with dust it gets wiped down. If I eat off it or particularly near it it gets wiped down.
Anywhere near where I clean is cleaned
Anywhere near where I sleep is cleaned
Insect-sized holes sealed up, regardless of the function they serve.
Toilet gets a thorough clean
Windows get wiped

That's about it for me. After 6 months I've still not got round to tidying or cleaning out the cupboard in my flat as it doesn't meet any of the criteria set out above and I'm lazy. I've not even been in it for 4 months- it'd probably a bloody huge wasps nest or something by now...
(, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 14:30, closed)
I certainly do...
...is it a Norn Iron thing?

My late nanna would skelf me if she were to look down on me and discover me turning a blind eye to the former-tenant-crud behind the fridge-freezer.
(, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 14:26, closed)
yep
I do that too.
When I moved into my current place, I was almost gagging as I scrubbed the hideous orange waffle from around the knobs on the cooker.
2 Years later and the orange goo is back, but its MY orange goo, so thats fine.
I remarked to the landrord what mingers the previous tennans had been, and how I had cleaned the place for a couple of days, but now its got the same dirt inn the same places, and Im not bothered.
(, Fri 27 Feb 2009, 12:34, closed)

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