My friend Evie is great fun, v popular and the life and soul of many a party
She is also hopelessly scatty and, at the time of this incident, had a terrible track record of dating losers. So many losers.

This particular evening, she went to a friend's housewarming in islington. It was the kind of house party you go to in your early 20's clutching a 6 pack and leave it in the kitchen. After an hour or so, the hostess came up to her, clearly pissed off.

"Evie, that bloke you brought with you is really annoying everyone. He's nailing all the booze!"

"Oh, I'm really sor-" Evie began. Then, "Hang on, I didn't bring any bloke with me!!!"

Turned out a tramp had chanced his arm and followed her in; she had been blissfully oblivious. The people at the party just assumed he was her latest. The tramp, let loose in the kitchen, couldn't believe his luck and maximised it by downing as much as he could before he got rumbled. Apparently a tramp can get through quite a few cans of beer in an hour.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sun 18 Oct 2015, 16:09, 7 replies)

I like this

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 7:11, closed)

When you said "scatty",
I was expecting a different sort of story.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:12, closed)

ha!

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:50, closed)

I'm still not convinced that Evie is not you.

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:22, closed)

Nope
I'd show you on fb but she's a teacher so deleted her profile.

Haha, poor thing is currently pregnant at the moment. When she was in the first 12 weeks, she had awful morning sickness, and of course teaching isn't the most forgiving profession. She had no choice but to vomit copiously in the yard of the school. With half her GCSE set chanting , "Ahhhh, miss is a skank, miss is a skank!"

LOL.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 12:27, closed)

Haha, poor thing is currently pregnant at the moment. When she I was in the first 12 weeks, she I had awful morning sickness, and of course teaching lawyering isn't the most forgiving profession. She I had no choice but to vomit copiously in the yard of the school open plan office. With half her my GCSE set trainees chanting , "Ahhhh, miss is a skank, miss is a skank!"
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 16:25, closed)

So, I asked, I asked how you-we all were earlier. And, you know, you all obviously responded in the positive. But the answer that you never expect- which admittedly, I've never got- but you live in hope and you don't turn round and say "Actually Jim, I've just been bumraped by a tramp". Yes, I know that's gross-out humour but, any porn in a storm, right. And, especially tramps.
( Zuowan, Mon 19 Oct 2015, 9:33, closed)