silicone ones
with extra buzzing. 0 - orgasm in 60 seconds.
My last one 'broke'.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:01, 1 reply)

Are you sure
you didn't just lose it in your cavernous fanny?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:02, closed)

I think you
used the word "cavernous" when you meant to use the word "tight", and my gynaecologist will back me up on that. It would only be cavernous in relation to your micro-cock.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:04, closed)

Does he have trouble
getting his speculum in?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:09, closed)

Typical,
that you assume my gynaecologist is a man. Women are allowed to be medical professionals too, y'know. Female doctors aren't known as nurses, y'know. Honestly, you misogynistic purveyor of male hegemony, haven't you heard of third-wave feminism?

She warmed the speculum. That's how nice she is. Then we had a nice chat about oppression at the hands of males while she gently flickered her tongue across the pale, smooth inside of my thigh and the sleazy saxophone music kicked in as our moans grew louder.

Edit: then the real (i.e. man) doctor came in and gave us a damn good seeing to, pausing only to make sure he spilled his virile male seed copiously, noisily and in full view of the array of cameras that up until that point I hadn't even noticed.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:14, closed)

okay dear
you just keep pretending that the nice nurse was a real doctor.

I also don't think that was a speculum. Speculi don't buzz when you twist the base.

edit - nice edit.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:21, closed)

Auch, come on.
next you'll be telling me they don't need to apply the lube anally either.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:22, closed)

Oh no
they have to do that, how else is the doctor supposed to get close enough to examine your mimsy if his cock keeps getting in the way.

Much better for him to put it up there out of the way.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:24, closed)

Cock Cam
Or so i read..
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 13:36, closed)

if


and my gynaecologist will back me up on that.

if he ever manages to find his way out again . . .


bandwagon away !
(The Cats Twat, Thu 19 Feb 2009, 23:57, closed)