Definitely iffy, extremely short, entirely accidental
I was sitting on a bench in a community centre, drinking tea while I idly watched some Chinese people in giant inflatable animal suits trying to get through the narrow doors. Don't ask.

I'm aware that someone has sat beside me, but don't pay much attention. When I do happen to look that way, my eyes are drawn to a rather spectacular cleavage: a plunging neckline and push-up bra combined with flawless alabaster skin -- the kind of skin (and cleavage) that only teenage girls have, and which an entire industry exists to try to convince women they can preserve. I guessed she was about 17; I couldn't see her face for the moment as she's looking the other way, so I simply enjoy the view for a few seconds.

...Until she looks around, and I suddenly want the earth to open up and swallow me, as I realise it's my ex-girlfriends daughter. A girl who I was effectively step-father to for over a year, when she was about 4.

Didn't help at all that, when she saw me, she jumped up and gave me a big hug.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 17:21, 3 replies)

So, how much less than 17 was she?
You dirty old man.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 17:38, closed)

nonce.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 21:01, closed)

I hope nothing sexy happened.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 12 Oct 2011, 23:00, closed)