Don't post on /talk.
If you do, Jahled's coming round to fuck you up.

www.b3tards.com/v/c5209db0bd1d8ae310e5/jahled.png
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 17:41, 50 replies)

Thanks for the warning.
I shall never Original Sound Track on /talk ever again.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 17:47, closed)

He's a scaring fucker. Better double lock your front door just in case.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 18:23, closed)

he has me on 2.0 because I mentioned his D&D hobby.
I hope he won't beat me up!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 19:16, closed)

I wonder what would happen if someone went to the police with that?
There have been a few precedents for people getting jailed for saying stuff like that on the internet.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 22:44, closed)

but it's justifiable if the victims are trolls themselves

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 22:48, closed)

.
It's a matter of documented fact that the government has a special response unit on permanent standby specifically to combat this type of heinous crime. It's a shadowy group of elite ex-special forces servicemen, deployed by personal command of the PM on super secret snatch squad missions to contain or eradicate the terrible peril of message board users casually implying unspecified low-level violence towards other (unspecified) message board users. They're known as the Random Internet Mob Justice Opposition Brigade, or "RIMJOB" for short.

Back in the real world, the closest example I can think of is the guy who 'threatened' to blow Robin Hood airport sky high, and was let off when the judicial system had a sudden and unprecedented attack of common sense. In fact, were any posts on here likely to land anyone on the wrong side of the courts, it'd be those directed toward that unfortunate fat chap from /talk who got trolled into oblivion by his ever-classy peers for having a dead baby.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 23:57, closed)

It's almost like there's too much joy in the world and you want to suck some of it out and spit it down the side of your misery bunk.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 17 Nov 2012, 10:05, closed)

Of the many adjectives I might apply to ol' 'handful of scrabble letters', "joyous" would absolutely be the last.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 17 Nov 2012, 10:50, closed)

Do you think this place turns people into self-important windbags, or do they just start out that way and get worse?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 17 Nov 2012, 11:43, closed)

I wouldn't want to speculate, woodie.
But I suspect there's latent windbaggery that never had an outlet in the Real World what with them all being socially inept shut-ins.

She'll be along any moment now to demonstrate ...
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 17 Nov 2012, 11:55, closed)

Oh, this is the part where you have a self-congratulatory conversation, between yourselves. Do carry on, I'm sure it will be both original and fascinating.

Hey look! I can use the edit button too. You know it's no substitute for spontaneity and wit, right?
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 17 Nov 2012, 12:03, closed)

cheers!

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sat 17 Nov 2012, 15:13, closed)

It's great to see that you're not taking a comedy forum based around piss-taking and humour seriously here.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 17 Nov 2012, 15:29, closed)

Don't feed the troll.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 17 Nov 2012, 15:51, closed)

Does it count as trolling if you're succeeding in upsetting yourself?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 17 Nov 2012, 15:55, closed)

I can't think of a better term for "posting something stupid then dragging you down to their level and beating you to death with their godawful smug ignorance if you respond to it."

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 17:30, closed)

Shit, yeah, you're totally right. My mistake. I should think of something exquisitely hilarious and daringly avant-garde with which to entertain you. Hang on, gimme a second... One more... One more... Yeah, that's it. I got it. Are you holding onto your sides? Cos this one's gonna be a corker!




Shed.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 17 Nov 2012, 16:01, closed)

MODS!

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 17 Nov 2012, 17:01, closed)

Grass, eh?
Two can play at that game - I'm emailing your boss.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 17 Nov 2012, 17:13, closed)

That's it, fill up ALL the NMC tribunals with 'dicking about on the internet' cases.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 9:53, closed)

Does it worry you that you've been here for years and still don't fit in?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 8:28, closed)

Or is that just the story of your life?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 8:28, closed)

Judging by your raft of David Failey-esque 'self portraits', the subject of not fitting in after the passage of years applies more to you and your jeans than to my presence here. In any event, please believe me when I say that I have no desire whatsoever to 'fit in' with you, as you seem to be a bit of an overbearing bellend.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 11:04, closed)

But enough interest to have been trawling through my Flickr stream.
Whereas I don't even know or care which of the self-pitying yank birds you are.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 11:33, closed)

Hee haw!

( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 11:55, closed)

lol yeah

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 15:50, closed)

word

( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 23:22, closed)

yeah like a Fail Archive
Hilarious
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 16:00, closed)

Also:

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 9:53, closed)

Did he post on /talk?
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 11:11, closed)

Apparently, he once said 'alright' to Jahled, the utter cunt.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 18:27, closed)

Does anybody have the timetables for our beatings?
I want to be wearing my good knickers.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 18:55, closed)

You'd only ruin them by getting all fizzy the instant Jahled appeared.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 21:35, closed)

imma get the gush when he duffs me up

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 22:39, closed)

Me too.

( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 0:54, closed)

Actually, I might just tap him up for a couple of quid.
web.archive.org/web/20100104151610/http://www.b3ta.com/talk/6001239
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 11:31, closed)

Careful, I bet diamonds make very effective knuckle-dusters.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 12:54, closed)

Christ.
Three years of whimpering and moaning. These cunts suffer from the most tedious form of masochism known to psychiatry.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 16:45, closed)

And their intolerance of disagreement would make them ill-suited to a career in politics or a regular slot at a Speakers' Corner.
It's a shame really, but that's how it goes.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Sat 17 Nov 2012, 12:16, closed)

At least they're getting a bit of attention from the grown ups.
That seems to give them a brief respite from the mediocrity of their existence.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 17 Nov 2012, 13:10, closed)

lolololololol
upset at pixels
(woocfot friends with Sacha Distel, Fri 16 Nov 2012, 22:51, closed)

can't you at least try to act like a grown-up at least some of the time?

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Sat 17 Nov 2012, 15:13, closed)

Jahled sexually abused Lord McAlpine.
Jahled fingered Jimmy Savile.
Jahled put a dog's paw on his bumhole.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sun 18 Nov 2012, 13:45, closed)

I don't know why you're all mocking him.
You'll only make things worse for yourselves.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 22:37, closed)

I'm not mocking, I'm trying to WARN..

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 23:37, closed)

You're like a modern day Cassandra, or something - and not just in terms of stature.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 23:46, closed)

manolith will defend me
I've hidden up a dog.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 19 Nov 2012, 10:19, closed)

I love it when I can only see about a quarter of the responses.
Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 18 Nov 2012, 22:46, closed)

I've yet to drop the 2.0 bomb - seems a shame to miss out. Gazpacho (or whatever) is getting close, though. So very, very dull...
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 18 Nov 2012, 23:21, closed)