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This is a question I Hurt My Rude Bits, Again

My commute to work was made excellent the other day when I saw a motorcyclist try to ride on the pavement to avoid a traffic queue, lose control, fall off and land bollock-first on a concrete bollard. He was fine, eventually – but tell us your tales of the old blinding agony to the gentleman's or gentlewoman's area.

(I helped save b3ta! Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 7 Mar 2013, 12:50)
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during a sternuous
attempt to return to the womb I managed to stab the penile frenulum on the tip of a girlfriends coil.

a certain ammount of annoyance was taken on her part at what she thought was male distaste at her lunar disturbance, till she realised that a thin spray of red fluid was jetting from the newly pierced member.
(ceebs, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 1:09, 10 replies)
Ouch O_o
I've been waiting for the first "snapped my banjo string" story of the week... somehow this is worse :/
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 8:20, closed)
^

(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:03, closed)
Ow.
Booby trapping one's fanny seems like a drastic way of saying "not tonight, darling".

Also, "lunar disturbance" makes it sound like you were shagging a werewolf.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 10:56, closed)
Don't werewolves
come quite shaggy already, therefore no need to shag them?
(speedevil, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 11:39, closed)
Rather that the standard scream of "accord" on biological grounds
I'm just going to say I hope you sent her to her doctors faster than you went to yours, chap, because if you got anywhere near it then it's come out through her cervix, and that's medically what's categorised as "a bad thing"

"lunar disturbance" though. Take a fucking bow, son, take. a. bow.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 11:55, closed)
actually
from what i understand it's meant to lie low in the cervix and hang out partially.

I can vouch for this story on the basis that this has happened to me also. Not the piercing, but the touching of tip and coil. Not pleasant.
(Schumann makes awesome quiches., Fri 8 Mar 2013, 12:55, closed)
It's the plastic 'strings'
attached to the base of the coil. They hang through the cervix, so to be grasped (by pliers!) when the coil needs to be removed. The coil itself is safely tucked into the uterus and doesn't poke out - or if it does, it's doctor time!

Mrs had to have her coil strings trimmed, they kept poking me in the bellend.
(I helped save b3ta! Fronds are waving gently on, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 1:05, closed)
Binthere......
..dunthat. Bloodywellhurtslikebuggery!
(I helped save b3ta! The Lone Groover has mal des nuts., Fri 8 Mar 2013, 13:38, closed)
Had no idea that could happen.
I feel distinctly uneasy now.
(I helped save b3ta! Pig Bodine., Fri 8 Mar 2013, 15:02, closed)
nice story.
I clicked.

It went against my better nature though, given the way you managed not to spell "strenuous"
(I helped save b3ta! shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 8 Mar 2013, 15:28, closed)

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