doorknockers
as with high heels, some women find a sense of relief when taking off their bras, especially if well-endowed in the chesticle department.
as someone who used to be a member of the megachebs club, i often wandered about the house bra-less. unfortunately for me, gravity and the council conspired to ensure that my doorhandles were at exactly the same height as my nipples(i'm not a tall woman). this resulted in several minor injuries to my most sensitive bits. however, when the phone rang one morning and i leapt out of bed to answer it, i caught my nipple so badly on the bedroom doorhandle that it almost ripped off.
nipples bleed a lot.
nowadays, i'm living somewhere with lower handles and i wear a bra much more often.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 13:38, 22 replies)

Fucking hell Smash O_o
That made me go all fluttery inside, and not in a good way.

*clicks*

*but really didn't like it*
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 14:08, closed)

hurts like fuck
but you can't rub it better, for obvious reasons :(
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 14:38, closed)

get a fucking room, wonky tits.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 14:50, closed)

(.)(.)

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 15:02, closed)

( ) ( )
( ) ( )
(.) (.)
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 15:18, closed)

that's nice, dear
but most of us only have 2
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 15:36, closed)

and the rest of us don't snag them on door handles.
jesus.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 16:26, closed)

jesus had holes in his hands, not his nipples
try to keep up
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 16:32, closed)

Janet's Bovine Secret?

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Mon 11 Mar 2013, 22:59, closed)

What kind of door handles did you have
that were capable of ripping a nipple?
Most are good for a bunt force injury (person experience) but a laceration?
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 14:55, closed)

She doesn't have door handles.
She has crocodile clips.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 15:01, closed)

weird old hook-type ones
that had been there since the flats were built 38 years previously
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 15:02, closed)

also, i was running when i caught it

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 15:15, closed)

Gonna print this thread out and have a wank.
Back in a bit.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 15:32, closed)

it's all those nipples of janet's that are doing it, isn't it?

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 15:35, closed)

It's hot when girls fight.
Everyone knows that.
You should hit each other with pillows, make it extra sexy.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 16:28, closed)

Or doorknobs.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 18:35, closed)

Doorknob in a pillow case.
That'll teach 'em for keeping doughnuts in their lockers.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Mon 11 Mar 2013, 22:57, closed)

HOLY SHIT! YOU HAVE BREASTS?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 11 Mar 2013, 20:35, closed)

yes
and they're still just about recognisable as such
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 14:36, closed)

You're very tall really, aren't you?
(MayorBoris, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 20:54, closed)

i wish
5"5
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 13 Mar 2013, 13:56, closed)