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This is a question I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke

Challenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.

RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN

* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?

So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.

Read Latest | Highest Voted

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
Pages: Latest, 60, 59, 58, 57, 56, ... 1

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What's the difference between a policeman's baton and a magician's wand?
An owl
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 23:56, Reply)
Dave Gahan is unable to buy an egg during the great French egg shortage.
He just can't get un oeuf!
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 15:16, Reply)
I was going to write a joke about procrastination
but I’ll do it tomorrow
(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 13:56, Reply)
what's got five heads and three arseholes?
An owl
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 13:42, Reply)
Why is one species of rodent funnier than all the others?
The timing of the shrew.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 14 Apr 2025, 6:49, Reply)
Thyming

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sun 13 Apr 2025, 21:26, Reply)
Do you know the secret of good comedy?
brb
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sat 12 Apr 2025, 19:33, 3 replies, latest was 6 months ago)
Timing.

(Smegg Wallace The O.G. Q.R., Fri 11 Apr 2025, 18:41, Reply)
Did you know the Chancellor of the Exchequer was constipated?
They could hardly budge it!
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Thu 10 Apr 2025, 12:45, 2 replies, latest was 6 months ago)
No I didn't, what *is* the secret of good comedy?

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 13:19, 3 replies, latest was 6 months ago)
What do Imperial Starfighter Pilots call the distinctive musky smell in the cockpits of their Twin Ion Engine fighters?
TIE ming
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 10:03, Reply)
What did the Beatles do when they ran out of Skiffle?
got Skiffleless
(Springbreak777, Tue 8 Apr 2025, 2:20, 2 replies, latest was 6 months ago)
What's the best solution when you want to transport ancient Chinese pottery safely?
Tie Ming.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Mon 7 Apr 2025, 16:58, Reply)
Why is it hard to find a bit of peace and quiet in Mongolia?
Because everywhere you go it's just Yak Yak Yak.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Sun 6 Apr 2025, 11:25, 1 reply, 6 months ago)
Meet the new boss.
Same as the old boss.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sun 6 Apr 2025, 7:01, Reply)
Which 80s synth-pop-turned-post-rock group is a three-wheeled motorcycle rickshaw?
Tuk Tuk
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 16:33, 2 replies, latest was 6 months ago)
Did you hear what the secret of good comedy is?

(I helped save b3ta! Cheers Cheers, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 14:48, 1 reply, 6 months ago)
What does one call a big dog who can use spreadsheets?
Excel bully
(I helped save b3ta! Fitznicely into a thimble, Sat 5 Apr 2025, 14:34, Reply)
Which 80s synth-pop-turned-post-rock group is a social media and short-form online video platform?
TokTok
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 2 Apr 2025, 10:02, Reply)
Why is the Legend Of Sleepy Hollow asexual?
Because it's got no Hedonism.
(FrenchBoast, Wed 2 Apr 2025, 9:15, Reply)
Remember that episode of Star Trek where Captain Kirk cloned himself and turn the starship into a brothel?
"Enterprise - Rent A Krik!"
(FrenchBoast, Wed 2 Apr 2025, 9:14, 1 reply, 6 months ago)
Which 80s synth-pop-turned-post-rock group was formed by the bass player from the Monkees and his brother?
Tork Tork
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 31 Mar 2025, 15:44, Reply)
What do you get if you subtract 3.14 from an opinion?
An onion.
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Mon 31 Mar 2025, 12:03, 4 replies, latest was 6 months ago)
Mild Insults in New Zealand
by Bill Ind
(sticklebrlcks that's Mr Bricks to you 🍓, Sun 30 Mar 2025, 11:29, Reply)
Why is Joseph not part of the Holy Family?
He's not relative.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sat 29 Mar 2025, 19:37, 1 reply, 7 months ago)
We couldn't work out when our dog started smoking but he was clearly addicted
whenever he lit his last cigarette he'd disappear to the shops in a wuff of smoke
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Fri 28 Mar 2025, 16:41, Reply)
My wife bought a transparent insect.
It was in the clear ants section.
(I helped save b3ta! Octo I ruin everything., Fri 28 Mar 2025, 9:56, Reply)
How is b3ta like your Mum?
One smells of fish, and the other smells of Phish.
(I helped save b3ta! atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Fri 28 Mar 2025, 2:45, Reply)
help me
Hello, my phone isn't powering up after charging overnight. Could someone suggest a trustworthy UK-based repair specialist to help fix this?
(Carlos Gucci, Tue 25 Mar 2025, 8:27, 15 replies, latest was 6 months ago)
How does elon musk prefer his coffee?
Decaffeinated
(I helped save b3ta! cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Mon 24 Mar 2025, 2:02, 1 reply, 7 months ago)

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